She, a cherubic innocent, the darkest of flowers
of eyes that scan the stage,
captures my strides to its vast
imperious showtime photosynthesis,
its tyrannical demands for imagination,
so I seek my throne, place of penance,
and take up my two long nails.
I slide underwater, flutter in toad light
of another smokey jazz room, deep as Blue Whale lows;
my Zildjians await, they gleam like the Gorgons' eyes,
but this is the kingdom of Neptune
and I’m the one with the sticks.
Passions of time sigs flow through my arms like comet tails;
soon nothing remains but the mumble jumbo of scars unreturned
as she, a cherubic innocent, the darkest of flowers, she
pluto white, orbits the confusion wisdom of my nether fizzing sea
the flute man Jives to like fire on a beach.
She spins, twirls
to his butterfly
flames
...I pound new Gods, they bounce, flare
like dying embers full of wars and thirst and retribution,
are nothing but shadows
in her absolution.
Am only sweat pretending salvation
and my Gods are short of cash again.
She is lovely, a cherubic innocent, the darkest of flowers
I’ll take so tenderly this very night
like a song night poets steal
their petals from
and for the blueberry smear they’ve heard shamans draw
who long to eat stars, ride a charmed quark
and bray their god is winsome and bends,
but I only want to play her beauty.
She is lovely, a cherubic innocent, the darkest of flowers
I will take so tenderly the moon will barely jiggle
in her deep-space blueberry eyes
and there shall be epiphanies
again tonight.
Author notes
Zildjian ... a Turkish cymbal used by many jazz drummers, once the most popular of cymbals, but now not considered to be a popular brand of cymbal for its response is often too slow for modern rock, and large, speedy Jazz bands like 'The Yellowjackets', but for bluesy jazz of urban influence, Zildjian is only one of finest, with round tones, sensitive persuasions and of lovely, golden dark frequencies, similar to single malt scotch on a baby grand in the firelight glow and her hair is red and eyes of emerald flavors and and ... ))oO)) ... but I digress
In a list
A contest entry
- Sorry: Invitation Only by Amera.
8000 points, ended August 20, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest: For Those On My Favorites List by Night Hope.
1200 points, ended November 6, 52 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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A Jack DeJohnette of a poem. You drove some beautiful jazz here. Congrats on bronze - but should have been brass.
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Like I said...totally unfair, Mister. 
Sighhh...when WILL I learn, ehhh??? 
Good luck in the contest, Danny Bear. 
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Quite an amazing piece.
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i thought it read jazz bummer - i was awaiting some mad comedy poem but my eyes are still mad, so i found this poem instead, a good poem
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Long to eat stars I love it, Congratulations on your silver trophy. It was very much a pleasure to read.
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deep as Blue Whale lows...
and it sings right across the sea!
Reading some of Wanda's poems I was put in touch with Pablo Neruda's poetry and when I began reading him I thought "Gee, I'VE never writen a poem in my life!This is unbelievable!"
That's kind 'a what Ithink when I read your poetry!
(It's no wonder she's fallen for YA'!)
This is the drum solo that stole the show!
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Red hair & green eyes, Baby??? Shall I bring out the ever-so-effective, always immaculate "WOOF"??? I'm ever so glad you got over that one, my Beloved, Brilliant, Jazzy Husband. Just pickin' on ya a lil' bit. 
"Man, if you have to ask what 'it' is, you’ll never know."
~Louis Armstrong
Obviously, YOU'LL never be asking that question, Mister...'cause you ARE "it". The Real Deal. Da Man. And all that implies.
I love this penning by you, Sweetheart...'cause I "get it", even though I'm not a musician. I see someone else (below) brought up Thelonius Monk...There are so many others, as well. For example, any drummer who backed up Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughn, Etta James, Rickie Lee Jones, etc.
You rock...you bluesy Jazz Man, you. ♥
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Well now, somebody's passionate about their jazz...
This ozzes emotion, a night at a whole in the wall club with the best of the unknown musicians in town. Real snazzy!, Dannie
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Shane S.
...twirls to his butterfly flames.
that's unreal. -
"I slide underwater, flutter in toad light
of another smokey jazz room, deep as Blue Whale lows;
my Zildjians await, they gleam like the Gorgons' eyes,
but this is the kingdom of Neptune
and I’m the one with the sticks."
I'm not a drummer, or even a musician so cannot comment on that aspect, but I enjoyed your use of imagery and word choice. An intelligent write. Well done -
As a rock/big band drummer I wouldn't be with out my Zildjian K series, sure I use a mix but I'd be lost with out my dark ride, projection crash and hi hats, must be getting old. Thirty years ago I would only have use Paiste, I guess we all mellow out. I had to rub my eyes half way through this due mainly to the smoky back room atmosphere you set, with this easy flow style. It slinked from line to line like a really slack four four brushed melodiously, while the horn trips the outer register. Its dark and sexy and reads like a guilty pleasure... Its a pity I never played much jazz the wild syncopation always interested me....
Cyber Artist
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yep. yer a drummer. this is a fine, fine comment.
admiringly
Moqui
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Wow I am speechless at your command of the good verb dear poet this leaves me ..just wow ..so worthy of silver maybe better for gold ...do not change a thing here this has wonder, verbage , resonance and illumination to a mind ...excellent write
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I clicked on this feature yesterday, and my java kept crashing my browser. sorry! I hate it when people click on features and don't leave comments.
What a seductive piece. "I will take so tenderly the moon will barely jiggle
in her deep-space blueberry eyes, "
yum. Even your descriptions of drumming removed from woman are tantalising. Now I feel silly that I am usually distracted by the bassist.
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Your author notes spoke to me. And the description of picking up sticks as 'two long nails' is just sublime. My father was a jazz drummer. Husband plays blues drums and my oldest son can do almost anything..... xx Thank you for this - so glad I clicked. Oh so very glad indeed. If I could 9 I would but only allowed to 3. Have my best three... love, Chills xx
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well done.
Nice flow of words, very nice in deed. I like the line orbits the confusion wisdom. I really like it. You went in to detail really good. It was a pleasure to read your work.
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Jazz poetry not just drumming, internal rhythms that switch and flow pulling the melody of meaning into unexpected places. Smouldering and beguiling asks intelligent questions of the reader. Broad vocabulary and command of all the devices makes this a truly worthwhile entry.
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I LOVE YOUR POEM, CHECK OUT MINE MY SITE I AM NEW TO THE PAG
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What a lovely flow,,,Passions of time sigs flow through my arms like comet tails;
soon nothing remains but the mumble jumbo of scars unreturned" so intense. I loved it! Great Write..Good Luck in the contest
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Superb word weaving. Well done.
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great words used here, and a lovely flow, and the style is great, it was a pleassure reading this im glad you posted it, best of luck in the contest
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A great read..Thanks for sharing.
Nevadapoet -
wow, this is amazing, such beauty and such tales, description and wonder,
you did so much better than mine
and alot, good luck
Stephanie ♥
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I knew when I asked you to enter my contest that I would be gifted with a masterpiece of brilliance and insight with depth. This vocabulary is intelligent but it still gives the feel of one that is lost to the night dreaming of pleasures he will never obtain. Lost in remorse the dream seems to be softened with the music and the intonation of hope that will transpire that very evening. I smiled at the end when I read the typical male phrase when referring to female anatomy. Bravo! Thank you for showcasing your work alongside some of the best poets on this website.
Love,
Amera♥
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*this comment has been edited by Moquispeare*
seal of authenticity oO!!
have edited out the phrase you mentioned, the phrase I used sort of offended me at some level, but I used it to show an abrupt change in personna tone, but after reading it again and remembering that i had a second option i had considered, i decided to go with the change: although the phrase cannot be considered as typical, for very few rednecks that I know have used the phrase as I used it, and very few enlightened men that I know have the guts to use it although it is precisely the way they think and most lesbians I know use it, or something like it, all the time and make the rednecks I know look like enlightened women rights activists, but I felt, after looking at it and considering my alterntive choice,your comment inspired me to look closer and so i have changed it to my second option.
Heck, I was going to anyway, come to think of it, and I think in changing it, I have improved the poem. I appreciate your comment, and for nudging my decision on the change forward, although you may not have intended to do so.
the fact that you mentioned the exact phrase that was bothering me is most impressive and i truly thank you.
your ardent
Moqui -
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I do like it better now. I'm not a prude but I like class.
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I pictured Thelonious Monk playing as this was read. I have read this many times as I can't seem to form a comment in my head. I can't seem to get my whole head around it. Like a tupperware cover that is a tiny bit small. You get one part to seal and the other side pulls out. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes not fitting in a box is exactly what you are going for. I think this one does exactly that.
as she, a cherubic innocent, the darkest of flowers, she pluto white, orbits the confusion wisdom of my nether fizzing sea the flute man Jives to like fire on a beach
I almost hired Balldinger to write this comment for me. This language is difficult, almost oxymoronic, and yet it has a ring and a style that is undeniable. It is what it is. In the immortal words of Duke Ellington, "If it sounds good, it IS good." This sounds good to me.
Thank you for a very worthy entry in our contest.
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your comment is brilliant ... i studied Elvin Jones for years and he never let it fit, and a nether fizzing sea is independent jazz drumming at different time sigs, usually two at the same time, and sometimes they just circle and watch you and sometimes they watch your soul ...
you have chosen the heart of my poem as your quote here, and I am very impressed .. yer right, the poem is not supposed to fit, and Monk is the inspiration of many drummers, odd as it may seem, he is the father of independent drum theory .. or at least, he inspired it ... you impress me greatly, i am most happy you find my poem intriguing. I shall read some of your poetry.
I feel very complimented.
your ardent
Moqui
ps ... Balldinger would be the one, oh yeah
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Rap on!
Yeah man, I was like really feeling this
jazzy beat you spat in a symphony of ecstasy.
You're on cool cat daddy. Your heart is filled
with celestial equations that only the deepest
of souls can descern. I loved this melody
my talented friend. Rap on my brother. Rap on!
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