*
midsummer choreographs
warm breezes
with sweet scents
a performance
rivaled only by
the adagio of
honeysuckle
and butterfly
*
Author notes
prompt: solitude
an observation, as i sat by my pool
life is so good...
A contest entry
- solitude by tara wilson.
2700 points, ended August 20, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critical comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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poem interesteing
I respectfully submit that life can be good for a good looking woman. For the rest of us however we aspire to greatness and often fall. The best we can hope for is to not get hurt too badly when we hit the ground, and to get back up quickly.
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Boffo!
A poem based on a good idea.
Wonderful! -
I feel there's nothing I can really say here that hasn't already been said in other comments already, but I'd like to chime in and add that I, too, really dig this. It's always good to log in and see something new of yours
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This is excellent. A slow ballet of words as is the honeysuckle and butterfly. This drew on so many childhood memories by my pool. Mesmerizing. Like looking into that blue water for a long time and then when you look away, the entire world is rose tinted.
Beautiful poem, beautiful memory. Thank you.
Garrison
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thank you very much
Saffron
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Wonderfully done... again, beautiful imagery paints a gentle picture of solitude... yep, I love "adagio" too... creative use of the word yet blends perfectly and sets the tone (no pun intended
) for this...
Ken
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thank you
Saffron
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Scott Adelman's page says you are a must read, so here I am! I love the idea of summer choreographing the breezes and scents, like summer itself is a magical being!
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thank you
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"midsummer choreographs
warm breezes
with sweet scents"
I love those lines, so much, the personification of it as choreographing a dance together, and then the imagery of the second stanza, with the butterfly slowly fluttering around honeysuckle, makes me think of the visual dance in the first stanza, also...yes, summer brings us so much to love, doesn't it? a beautiful entry, thank you, Saffron
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thank you very much for your kind comment
Saffron
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Short sharp focused images that plunge the reader into a dance and then the visual kinesthia of the music composed of color. Wonderfully sensitive, vibrantly formed. I pause to meditate and sip slowly from the richness that pours down the throat of my heart.
Love,
Tom B.
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Such innocence of a summers day within these words. I think I have heard the music of honeysuckle in the summers air. Good luck in the contest.
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This has warmth and serenity...I love the last stanza, especially your use of adagio. Enjoyed!
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Thank you
Saffron
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A gentle moment, that.
And a fine take on the prompt, my view.
Thanks for this.
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Thank you very much
Saffron
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I like this.
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