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"He Loves"

She couldn't express her joy
any other way,
for it was the happiest
moment of her life.

"He loves me,
he loves me,
he loves me!"
her heart kept pounding,
until all that was heard
was, "He loves."

How could she not
have noticed
those affectionate eyes
always gazing
at her with
excessive admiration?

But now that she knew,
she couldn't
stop dancing
at the joyous thought
that the gorgeous man
she longed for all
these years
now shared
the same emotions.

Author notes

lol folks!

A contest entry

tell me what yall think!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Hikari Lady
    August 27, 2008

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    "He loves me,
    he loves me,
    he loves me!"
    her heart kept pounding,
    until all that was heard
    was, "He loves."

    Indeed the most beautiful lines in the poem, how her heart kept racing until words became hard to say, beautiful.


  • Jasmine Rayne
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this write. ^_^ It was very cute.

    ""He loves me,
    he loves me,
    he loves me!"
    her heart kept pounding,
    until all that was heard
    was, "He loves.""

    I like the way you say- basically- that her heart keeps racing faster and faster. :] A very adorable write. :] Thank you for entering.







    -Lily♥


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like how you captured the emotions here.
    This has such a genuine feel to it. And it is amazing, when there is another person who you think is "out of your league" that actually likes you as well.


  • sassykitty
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This certainly captures that moment of excitement when it hits - and it's an indescribable moment of hands shaking and heart pounding - well that's how I was when I first saw the person who's the subject of most of my stuff - anyway - one thing I would suggest is that you try to move away from referring to the second person as in line 9 - this makes it conversational and I think you want ensure the poetic quality more. Did like the way you communicate the feelings of the poetic voice towards its subject though. Good luck in your contest.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Humm..how the music of love vibrates through the words of love poetry..that you know very well..well done..

1 - 5 of 5