The wind blows my hair around
As my tears fall to the ground
I drop a rose onto your grave
Can't help but hope that you forgave
Forgave all the bad things I've done
All the wrong places I've run
Yet, you let me do them, hoping I'd learn
As you figured, I would always return
If I could take back the things I said
There are only a few things I would say instead
I miss you, I love you, I wish you were still here
Dad, know I you will always be near
A contest entry
- Bring Me Hope... by PerfectImperfection.
900 points, ended October 14, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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A very sad piece of heart flowing within these lines. Thoughtful and nicely expressed, for it is those moments in between we simply long to remember, and hope that all else can be forgotten. Thank you for your entry!
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Hmm, looking at this outside of the contest, I really liked it; I love to read the darker side of poetry, as that just seems to suit my interests or what not, so great job on it from that side of views; it flowed really smoothly.
However, I don't really see the light of 'hope' in this for somone that isn't you; you know? Like the whole, forgiving business and what not? Unless you knew the person personally whose father died, and that there were some subjected events to be forgiven, in which case fair enough
But, good luck anyway, and again, I really did enjoy reading this! -
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I see your point. Thanks for the comment and critique. I always like to know what I could have done better for later. Danke!!
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Aww, so bittersweet. Just what I was inthe mood to read. Good luck matage, this write was so chock full of emotions.
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brought tears to the eyes great write
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