I know it's time
to say goodbye.
This friendship
Is just not working.
It's not your fault.
It's probably mine.
I just cannot
do this anymore.
It feels like I'm sitting
on a time bomb,
wondering when
it will go off.
I just don't have
the emotional strength,
to keep on
doing this anymore.
I know I said
I would never quit.
I hate the thought
of saying "goodbye".
But I also hate wondering
where I stand with you.
I just can't
do this anymore.
I feel as if I'm
being jerked around.
It's not the way
I envision friendship.
I need a friend
who won't run away,
I just can't
do this anymore.
So, goodbye for now,
I'll miss you,
my friend.
I truly wish you well.
Godspeed and
God bless.
I simply won't
do this anymore.
Author notes
I am mourning the loss of some friendships. This is about drawing healthy boundaries and doing good self care. Some people are going to believe what they choose to believe about you and there is nothing you can do to change their minds. It is time to let it go and walk away.
I guess the clincher was when it was obvious that the other persons were responding to things I had not written and ignoring things I had. There is nothing I can do when I say "red" and the other person hears "blue"...and it just keeps on happening.
I'm moving on, and leaving this dark cloud behind me.
A contest entry
- Moving On by Shadow BC Unknown.
1050 points, ended September 11, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Well, I must admit that I've probably been through something similar to this a few times
It's makes some good poins, but you mustn't blame yourself.
Those who are your truest friends would take the time to understand these problems, no matter the circumstance.
Thanks for entering. -
Transcend All
Health Boundaries . . . something we all must figure out, something many of us have found to be difficult to say the least. When you go through something life changing that makes you different, that puts you in a situation to depend on help from others more than you had. Well, after my accident my life changed and I thought I'd have friends that would be there if something like that ever happened. But what I found instead was allot of running away. I learned rather quickly that they viewed the friendship differently. When the chips were down and they were needed for support, they were gone,only around on the easier moments. I think your piece will be an unfortunate truth for many of us. Thank you for sharing your hurt and your strength to do what you must for yourself.
Namaste'
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Thank you for commenting. Gosh, I am so sorry that you had "friends" run away. *sigh* That is so hard.
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I can' do this anymore
Sounds like the situation I am in now with me being the one wanting to hold on--thank you.
A very good write and it flows well--gives another viewpoint to look at and think about.
bw
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Thank you. I have been on boths sides of situations. Usually, I am the one who holds on...hanging on to hope after hope. I am learning that it is truly OK to walk away from some things. It is not always just running away and avoidance.
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I heard this poem achingly.
Just be careful you replace and do not self-isolate.
The courage and fearless writing of the many here on
this site, really strengthened me to not give up
ALL HOPE...and laughter I assure you does return.
I felt like I was 14 all over again, meeting someone
in conversation, and saying...I really like you..
you have a great sense of humor would
you like to be my friend...we could sip ice-tea
and laugh at each others stories...
it took me awhile, but slowly I am re-building,
truly supportive friends.
ears/Seattle
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Thank you! Nope...not isolating. I have spent time and energy trying to "fix" this relationship and clear up the misunderstandings...which, right now anyway, is to now avail. Now I will be spending that time and energy elsewhere...on people with whom I don't seem to have so much difficulty.
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It is never just one person in a situation like this. Sometimes things get stuck and refuse to move on or change in a relationship. When this happens, it is best for you to move on without that person. You did the right thing. It isn't your fault. It takes two - and if the other person won't budge, well - that's that. Maybe things will change if the future; maybe not. Sounds like you need space away from each other. Sending you healing and light, karen
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Stuck...hmmm. Yeah...stuck...or else it just seems to spiral down, down, down...just getting more and more complicated and more and more crazy. Just can't do it any more. It drains me too much.
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"just getting more and more complicated and more and more crazy."
Definitely, you were right to move on!
I have been in relationships like this. They just suck the life out of you. That is not what a friendship is about.
It sounds like this person is manipulating and possibly even abusing you emotionally and psychologically.
Because of both of our background, we are vulnerable to relationships that may be destructive. You were right to listen to yourself and trust your instincts. I'll put it stronger; get out and stay out! Believe in number one; and that's you!
One time, it took all my strength to say goodbye to a close friend. Our relationship was very co-dependent and controling. No matter how many times, I tried to set boundaries with her, she just would not honor it.She was even stalking me! I had to draw the line, and stick to it. Boundaries have always been hard for me to define and draw; but I did it. -
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In all fairness, I don't believe is she is trying to manipulate or be abusive...not at all. I think she is just hurt due to some misperceptions and fumbles in communication on my part. Plus, there seems to be ongoing miscommunication happening and I just cannot fix it. Something happened between us that involves someone else and no matter what I say or write...it appears that it is heard and read as something else. I have to let it go.
When someone's responses make it clear that they are not getting something that was very clearly stated, there is nothing more I can do. I give up. I just cannot do it anymore.
She will not pursue. Neither of them will. I was surprised when she contacted me, wanting to work things out; but I just cannot do it. I am walking away.
This is not the first friendship I have had to walk away from. I will be OK.
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Okay, and yes - sometimes people get stuck on things like that and no matter what you say, it doesn't change what they insist on thinking and feeling.
thank you for clarifying things, and I am glad to hear that you will be ok.
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Wow! This is powerful and oh so true! When we grow and change, sometimes our friends don't like the new person we are becoming. You are doing the right thing to move on even though it is not at all easy. Good for you for recognizing that a true friend grows with you, and is happy with your growth. Nice poem! Blessings, Patty
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Thanks, Patty! I really appreciate your comment and support!
Abigail
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What a heartfelt write about moving on. Life can be so hard at times and when a friendship is causing mental stress it makes it all the harder sometimes we have to step back and take a look to see if this friendship is worth the long haul. I commend you for your strength and will to say goodbye. I know it was hard for you to do. Wonderful write
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Thanks. It was a very hard decision to make. I never thought that I would ever really do it...not this way. I tried to make my goodbye email peaceable toward her...but I don't think she received it that way. *sigh* There is only so much I, or she, can do.
I think we both need to know when to just walk away. It had gotten to the point, I feel, of "beating a dead horse". Nothing was going to change, short of a miracle. We each had our differing viewpoints and it was a difference that interfered with our friendship, such as it was; particularly since that viewpoint was about me...who I really am and what I am really like.
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It's a tough decision to let go and move on; but sometimes this is exactly what needs to be done. It sounds like your friendship was draining and confusing; not nurturing and supportive as friendship should be. I think you did the right thing by wishing your friend well and saying goodbye. True friendship shouldn't cause pain like that.
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Thanks, hon. *tears* You are right, of course. It should not be that way. I know I have my part in things. I also don't believe it is all me.
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I know how you feel. I'm going through the same thing! It pains me to do it but now I have two close and only friends I can count on! But it still hurts me to say goodbye too. I wish you well.
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Thanks. It is sad that so many others are also experiencing stuff like this.
Take care
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This is hard to be the one that is always losong friends it seems to be happening to me also I am sprry hang in there much love
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Yeah...it IS hard. Sorry that it is happening to you, too. *sigh*
love and hugs
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