Pardon me; abrupt isolation requested
Celestial entities impinge (people collide)
Almond stains from fingers to lips
Silver lined wings
Exotic; he thinks I'm a fairy (unable to fly)
Ophelia extended the branch
From crystal azure (who am I kidding. heartbreaks) pool
Though, struck with madness
she vehemently covered the looking glass
eventually oils grip (she never did wash her hands) knuckled
Under. plunged perilously - shards scattered
Shock and
Girl
Loved
Violently
Eradicating
Souls
Author notes
Casual or Critique is fine. 
A Case Of The Uglies. Two Beauties Equal One Monster
A contest entry
- You by Demington.
850 points, ended September 3, 2008, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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"Pardon me; abrupt isolation requested"
Not sure if this was meant to be funny...
it was.
Probably because of the uppity "Pardon me".
"Silver lined"
Maybe a hyphen should be adopted here.
"Silver lined wings
Exotic; he thinks I'm a fairy (unable to fly)"
"Ophelia extended the branch
From crystal azure (who am I kidding. heartbreaks) pool"
Your capitalization confuses me...it seems to be all-caps-for-each-line and then it isn't later...
It seems to me like both those stanzas connect, so I think you could lose the caps-in-the-beginning...
"plunged perilously"<--could also be "perilously plunged".
Maybe.
Good luck


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This is sooo hard to understand without a glimpse in to the authors' understanding. Thank you for explaining the relationship aspect of the poem and pointing out A Case Of The Uglies written right into the poem. Great write, keep it up!


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My my..
You are really surprising me.. Anothergreat write!

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verry good word ussage again i like the style, your one to watch


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I love it and also enjoy the Hamlet metephor

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Another vividly expressed thought-provoker...
Wow, this is such am amazing piece that I had to read it a few times to feel the full effect of the metaphoric surrealism of your muse's pen. Although I still wonder what the meaning of it all is... Best of luck in this contest, you've written a stunning winner!!!
Peace, Cyn


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I did like this piece the title drew me in to this amazing poem I wish you much luck in the contest blessings always


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Great poem!
Bubbles bursting, evil's thirsting
two beauties searching
become one monster lurking....
i love this! best of luck in the contest.

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I love this part the most
Though, struck with madness
she vehemently covered the looking glass

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this is good
hey i like poems and hope to be able to read all of them came and check out my another new poems if u want -
Very well done! The structure and punctuation are quite curious, enough so that I want to read it aloud. I really like the insanity of the poem, a twisting, curving, entrancing ride.
And this is part of why I like your style, as with the curiousity of someone who absolutely must know more, I haven't seen it before.

Blessings,
C

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That's a great poem, I read it over at least 10 times. Unfortunately it drove me a little bit crazy.


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I love this! Especially the way you layed it out, and the (cynicism). Great job!


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I really like this.
It has a raw kind of feeling to it.
The atmosphere of it feels likes it's all of one thought, but somehow it seems scattered.
Very nice.
Best of luck!
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That is so awesome how you aligned all of the lines in their own unique way
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I like this a lot. The form is very unusual, but I like things like that ^_^
"Celestial entities impinge"
A very curious line. I like it a lot. "Celestial entities". A very entrancing phrase :]
"plunged perilously - shards scattered"
I like the alliteration here. :] It's subtle and very well-done.
Great job and good luck in the contest ^_^
-Lily♥

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you always have a very original form to your poems. Great word choices too. I espescially enjoyed the ending!
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It is definitely different, dont stop your writing.


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Very good poem!
Fun and contemporary! Interesting layout!
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