silence,
descends like rain
as darkness closes in,
here I am alone, shedding
tears you will never see,
farewell sweetheart.
Author notes
picture option 3. 20 words only permitted.
I tried to shape the poem like a solitary teardrop.
In a list
A contest entry
- Semi Quickie PIF contest by Reptile Lady by Reptile Lady.
750 points, ended August 18, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Detailed critique welcome
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You made great usage of the word limit. Each one holds an impact and goes so well with the picture.
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wow I gotta say this. This is a wonderful poem. Short true. But an excellent write. I feel emotions in this write. I loe the picture. It is a great write you have going here. You are very talent
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Great Write!!!!!!!
This was sad yet so beautiful. I can relate to these emotions so well. A very heartfelt poem. Nice imagery makes for a wonderful read this afternoon. Take care. Sandy
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Oh, Uncle Panther, I knew I could always come to your page to take the words of some emotions right out of my mouth. I did miss your beautiful, heartfelt poetry. Even on the spur of the moment, you always have had a knack for making everything so much better.
Shaping the poem to match its meaning is a great thought. Something you would come up with; beautiful. I love the phrasing and the way it just seems so outright. No need for sugar coating or flowery entrances.
I can't wait to catch up. -
wow this is so intense, and it's only 20 words! The words you picked were just perfect, they made you feel the emotion you were trying to portray, and it worked so well. I like that you made it in the shape of a teardrop, because it adds to the look and feel of the whole thing. Awesome job
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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This made me cry. Of course, I am in one of those moods,
but I do always love your sentimental poetry...In my opinion we could all do better to show our hearts a little more and you have done that here...Emotion is the key...but you know that is the way to get to me in my contests
Perhaps it is a personal opinion, but I say all of the perfect imagery, metaphor and form can be present, but without emotion, what do you really have?
Lynda
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Lovely style
Wonderful sad words etched
farewell sweetheart..
Thank you for your entry and best wishes
Julie
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