My grandmother was a woman
who fed crows
in a cedar shafted, coal-pot kitchen:
From here I can see its still remains.
They tore it down and the birds left.
I am often here
silent between the wind talkers,
inhaling the idle whirls
that whisper across the cold cement-
that stone scarred crust suspended in the air above this house
It is a seasoned moon, a silver dragon
breathing shadows about the Ive
willing the cerise North
to sputter rivulets of amber
on a waking world
Author notes
The "Ive" is short for Ive Walk, the name of my community. To the north of us is a village called "three hills" known for its reddish dirt
from Ive walk's view the sun seems to rise slowly from behind the hills of our Nothern Neighbors
A contest entry
- some examples of distance by Nicolette.
1500 points, ended September 1, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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What an excellent piece of work!
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absolutely beautiful ...
such graceful poetic strokes of color on a receptive canvas ...
I would have loved to meet your grandmother, she seemed to have great love for animals ...
"feeding crows" could be interpreted as a metaphor ...
in native traditons, the crow-spirit stands as a guide into the mystery of the great void :
"I’ll take your fear to face the Void,
the Source of Mystery,
the Home of ‘all not yet in form’,
no-name … no history …"
take care and stay safe during the passage of the hurricanes ...
my prayers are with you and your people,
maa
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yea the crows are metaphoric, it seems eeryone wanted something from her- shelter, love, money, food... but in many cases it was never returned. At some point most simply flew away. I was only a child but I knew the effect this had on her
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So bitter sweet and you have employed such a soft and gentle imagery here - very thoughtful and poignant. The feeding crow part was a lovely personal touch and to end the idea with "They tore it down and the birds left." is blatant and moving. I also loved "inhaling idle whirls", I could almost see you reflecting; taking it all in. Wonderful poetry.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us
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Sad and sweet memory..beautifully rendered
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I have a huge Norfolk Pine tree in front of my house and this morning I woke up to the sounds of a pair of crows... so the first stanza of your poem came alive in my eyes - and my ears. Wonderful imagery in this poem; reading it was like being allowed to walk with you and see what you are seeing. Lovely colour and light here and something very serene..as if looking on from a distance. A nicely crafted poem, AJ - I enjoyed this one. Thank you for sharing it with us in the contest.
~ Nicolette
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As always my dear, you have such a way with words... I really enjoyed the feel of this. Well penned and the imagery is nicely crafted.
"It is a seasoned moon, a silver dragon
breathing shadows about the Ive
willing the cerise North
to sputter rivulets of amber
on a waking world"
A great ending to this. Quite vivid and intriguing in its effect. I would say the punctuation could be 'expanded' or left out all together. Great write!!!
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I felt like I was in Jamaica with you
. I love this piece.
The first stanza floored me. I love the imagery in it. Especially the description of your grandmother 'feeding crows'...to me, I get the feeling she was one of those people how helped those who were considered taboo, maybe, as crows many times are harbingers of death..
I really just loved this..
-joan.
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Yay he's back! I like this a lot, the use of color and light, powerful imagery, "silent between the wind talkers" and "a seasoned moon, a silver dragon
breathing shadows about the Ive"... Excellent!
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This poem has a soothing affect on the reader and is simply beautiful. Thank you and God Bless
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thank you
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You have an excellent mastery of imagistic content.
'seasoned moon, a silver dragon' A beautiful image that breaths from the page. Nice work.
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Excellent.
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Wonderful images here.. it's like gazing up past an old known house into some distant forever ..while the moon crawls slowly forward falling only into dawn
silent between the wind talkers
that line alone speaks volumes
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This evocation is why I like your poetry so much. Welcome back. I have missed reading your work.
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This is very good AJ. I find it to have a sad yet peaceful tone to it. I love the line:
It is a seasoned moon, a silver dragon
breathing shadows about the Ive
willing the cerise North
hmmmmm wonderful.
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