Golden kisses dry our eyes
Magic whispers tantalise
Shine within a cloud of cream
Messages that make us dream
Reaching for a fantasy
Moonwalking upon the sea
Caught within her hidden glow
As we shimmer far below
Whispering of sweet romance
Moon power gives love a chance
Climb upon the cycle now
Lunar girl will show us how.
A contest entry
- It Must Be The Moon part II . by JinSays.
600 points, ended August 16, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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A really descriptive piece of work. This makes me long for someone to share a beautiful night beneath a satin moon with.
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NICELY PENNED
I found my thoughts moving to something I have recently discovered in my ongoing quest to learn to be a better writer, that came to mind as I see a lot of similarities in the way we write. Myself, I would work the rhyme, syllable count, and meter sometimes trying to perfection yet would redundantly be missing that mysterious something, that flow, that smooth poetic flow. Recently I almost spontaneously wrote a few collaboration poems with someone I admire their work , she has that smooth poetic flow and in so doing discovered the loosening of poetic parameters and the opening of spontaneous creativity that somehow made the flow smoothly easier to grasp concept of .
A method inspired by someone else's ability taking me on a ride without the training wheels, LOL. Still have a long ways to go but the different vantage point by which I view my writing gave me some added insight, something, I thought you might find useful and may want to give a try.
Hope this makes a little sense and hopefully may be helpful
Congrats on the bronze
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Lunar girl!
Wonderful, thank you.
I love this color background too, sweet.
Climb upon the cycles now....love that line!
jin
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Very good Ros, Well written. The rythem is smooth the rhyme is flawless and the poem itself is tender and vivd to the imagination. I enjoyed it.
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Beautiful. Simple, yet deep and emotional. I was not bothered by the simple form and end line rhyme due to the fact that it was so short a sweet.
Cupcakes. Hersey's Kisses. Yeah. Thanks!
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Oh this was really beautiful.. It flowed so softly.And was just so loving.. I really loved the imagery here as well. Bravo!! best of luck in the contest!!
Angel
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full moon last night.. i looked up for the lunar girl, good luck x
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well
The moon , they say brings out the best in lovers. And the poets rhyme in perfect time brings out the best in this soft sweet piece. Well done again poet
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yes nearly full moon, and she is beautiful tonight. This made me all warm and snuggly. I feel all enchanted by that. Good luck, it's a pretty write.
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