Visible imprints
stray carelessly without
patterns
trailing forgotten secrets
among the bruising walls;
a tapestry of impressions,
folding and unfolding
anew
like dimples of imperfection
laced through wrinkles in
my softest linen.
stray carelessly without
patterns
trailing forgotten secrets
among the bruising walls;
a tapestry of impressions,
folding and unfolding
anew
like dimples of imperfection
laced through wrinkles in
my softest linen.
Author notes
walls hold our past within their crevices. imperfect they may seem, but each one represents us. Host may decide whether or not they want to casually comment, or critique my poem.
Thank you for this opportunity.
Salt Therapy
A contest entry
- You by Demington.
850 points, ended September 3, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my favorites and those that have me on their favorites by whiterabbit..
400 points, ended December 11, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite-palooza by swim.x.
1650 points, ended October 6, 2008, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
come with me, into the land of the unknown
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Nice, beautiful, touching write. Such great and effective use of description which created vivid and wonderful imagery.
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x
'like dimples of imperfection' -
I really love this. It's so beautifully written and I love the tone that it has to it. I love the idea behind this poem and the details that you used are wonderful. Great write and thanks for entering.
x -
wanted to hate it.
don't at all.
very nice little daisy of a poem.
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well thank you, I'm glad you didn't.
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trailing forgotten secrets
among the bruising walls;
... <3
probably one of my favorite poems yet again, by you =)

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No idea what to make of this one.
And by that, I mean I don't know where to start.
♥ -
Nice imagery. I really liked the whole thing. I was going to copy a stanza in here and comment on it, but I couldn't decide which one to use. Beautiful.


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I like the closing simile.
Nicely written.
Best of luck!
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I love the subject you wrote about. So true, yet not very commonly noted. I like this, it's very relaxed, to the point, and yet so smooth and pretty.


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This poem, if described as a breath of air, would be drawn deeply and slowly on a warm summer day...just as a breeze sweeps up and over you from across the yard.
I honestly can find nothing to critique. I enjoyed this poem very much. Thank you for honoring my contest with this contribution.
Blessings,
C

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I like it. It's really weird, but i was actually talking to Nick about this the other day. Like how hard it is to leave a house you've grown up in because of things like cracks in the walls.

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