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Lore Crevices

Visible imprints
stray carelessly without
patterns

trailing forgotten secrets
among the bruising walls;

a tapestry of impressions,
folding and unfolding
anew

like dimples of imperfection
laced through wrinkles in
my softest linen.

Author notes

walls hold our past within their crevices. imperfect they may seem, but each one represents us. Host may decide whether or not they want to casually comment, or critique my poem. Thank you for this opportunity.


Salt Therapy

A contest entry

come with me, into the land of the unknown

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • swim.x
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice, beautiful, touching write. Such great and effective use of description which created vivid and wonderful imagery.
    Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
    Chin up,
    Swim.x
    'like dimples of imperfection'


  • whiterabbit.
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really love this. It's so beautifully written and I love the tone that it has to it. I love the idea behind this poem and the details that you used are wonderful. Great write and thanks for entering.
    x


  • delayedscreening
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wanted to hate it.

    don't at all.
    very nice little daisy of a poem.


  • Fedrizzi
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    trailing forgotten secrets
    among the bruising walls;
    ... <3

    probably one of my favorite poems yet again, by you =)

  • Shadow Darkstar
    August 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    No idea what to make of this one.
    And by that, I mean I don't know where to start.


  • jazzcat gold member
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice imagery. I really liked the whole thing. I was going to copy a stanza in here and comment on it, but I couldn't decide which one to use. Beautiful.


  • Lj-
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I like the closing simile.
    Nicely written.

    Best of luck!


  • Solidified
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the subject you wrote about. So true, yet not very commonly noted. I like this, it's very relaxed, to the point, and yet so smooth and pretty.


  • Demington
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem, if described as a breath of air, would be drawn deeply and slowly on a warm summer day...just as a breeze sweeps up and over you from across the yard.

    I honestly can find nothing to critique. I enjoyed this poem very much. Thank you for honoring my contest with this contribution.

    Blessings,

    C


  • Red Sunglasses
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like it. It's really weird, but i was actually talking to Nick about this the other day. Like how hard it is to leave a house you've grown up in because of things like cracks in the walls.

1 - 11 of 11