It happened so honestly;
you were just another friend
that I loved to see.
But after some time,
the feeling inclined,
and I found I was falling for you.
But lately I’ve started to dream,
about you and me,
and how it would be
to hold you close to me,
like it’s supposed to be.
But then a question in my head
brings me back to reality.
What would you do,
if I told you
I was in love with you?
Would you still be my friend?
Or would the relationship end?
What should I do?
I’m falling in love with you.
But lately I’ve started to dream,
about you and me,
and how it would be
to hold you close to me,
like it’s supposed to be.
But then a question in my head
brings me back to reality.
A piece of my heart I'm sending to you,
but would you mark 'return to sender,'
or say you love me too and keep it tender?
Help me; I think I've fallen
in love with you.
Author notes
***yeah i know the rhyming is weird, its supposed to be. so don't worry about that.
ya know, when i wrote this i wasnt thinking about twilight at all [[crazy huh? im always thinking about twilight]]. but then i read over it and i thought of jacob. so i guess its from him to bella or him inside his head [[so i guess edward can hear it too. lol]]
option 4. diary entry from jacob
for DanielleNicole...option 8 <3 <3
for mcw120588... i wrote on love
for ratkos...option 3
option 4. from jacob during new moon.
Missa
A contest entry
- Love II by blaq roze.
1000 points, ended August 20, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just 16 and Under 16's Only - Many Prompts by Errant Panther.
586 points, ended September 18, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me smile. NO RULES!! by Jade.Butterfly.
500 points, ended October 14, 2008, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Conflict by limechic.
825 points, ended October 20, 2008, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Finding Love [True Love Waits Forever][Awaiting Arrival Of Unborn Child] by stargazer..
400 points, ended April 20, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Brilliant disguise by ratkos.
1230 points, ended November 28, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twilight by Maili Knephthan.
650 points, ended October 27, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Twilight Sage: Options by albinoblacksheep720.
700 points, ended December 13, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites, show me what you got. by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ended July 22, 98 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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Beautiful.
Thanks for entering darling.
Great write.
Good luck <33 -
'friendship can go into love, but love into friendship...never'
this line is amazingg. -
I like it, it's like the saying 'friendship can go into love, but love into friendship...never'. Your rhyming was actually not bad. =P I liked it when you repeated the paragraph where he's in your dreams, it shows you're thinking about it all the time. Even though this is a love poem, this actually made me smile. =)
Good luck with the contest! =D -
Sweet
It's cute. It does remind me of Jacob. Or Bella. In New Moon, when Edward leaves. I like it a lot. It's almost what I'm look for. Great job. Good Luck
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What a wonderful poem, very nice!!! Congratulations on all the bling bling, well deserved.
Best wishes in the contest
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friggen AWESOME I do love jacob though ^_^ thank you for your entry. Hopefully I'll remember to make a better comment after I have more time.
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-A piece of my heart I'm sending to you,
but would you mark 'return to sender,'
or say you love me too and keep it tender?
Help me; I think I've fallen
in love with you.
...
That was definitely one of the strongest parts of your poem. I was in awe after reading that. Very cleverly put. I like the metaphor in that line :] Thanks for entering & good luck! <3 -
the poem shows a young angst of searching for understanding. it is the love that we have all felt for that person we know we shouldnt love. there is no answer. i will say though that the poem is straightforward through the questions and dancing answers alone in the mind. the lack of imagery is slightly made up in the way that it falls under a stream of consciousness. well written though im not sure what the rhyme scheme was it seemed more random than deliberate
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awww awesome poem....this is exactly how i felt with one of my friend then we got together but just 2 days ago we broke up but were great friends again now
...thanks heaps for entering!!
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this is wow.I can relate and its perfectly worded.its like a song thank you for entering
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A nicely written poem. I could see Jacob saying these things as well because it is obvious in the 2nd Book New moon that he is in love with her. Thanks for entering
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I don't know anything about Twilight [I really should look into it seeing as the world seems to have gone crazy over it] - but this was great!
I'm not 100% if you meant to write it to sound like 'lyrics' but that's definitely what it was like to me; I could hear the beginnings of a tune in my head as I was reading it; did you put it to music? I think it would work very well!
For this reason also, I didn't even particularly notice the odd rhyming scheme, which, anyone will tell you, is weird for me [i love my rhymes] But no, truly, honestly, I think you did a great job with this
Thanks for entering!
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well, i tried making them lyrics, but then i realized...I can't play anything. lol. so all i have is a tune in my head...and that kinda stinks because i dont sing in front of people, so i cant sing it to someone who does play something...so i guess its just a poem now. poor little unplayed song...lol! thanks!
and YES!!! READ TWILIGHT!!!! but actually when i wrote it, this wasnt about twilight. it wasnt until a week ago i even realized it goes PERFECTLY with the second book of it! lol
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wow i really liked this im happy im getting somany jacob enteries!!!! lol
but yes really really sweet peice here! AND I LOVED THE RYHMING! it was soo unique and it kinda flowed really well! well for me at least...
THANKS FOR ENTERING AND GOOD LUCK! xxxx
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Great job here. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck
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Wow,
It's like you know my entire situation here.
Omg absolutely stunning..
I just don't know what to say.
I just love this one as well.
this contest is going to be so so very hard..
wow good luck ..
-Mandi
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This is really sweet i love it!
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I lkike this a lot, the rhyming is a little strange but it's well done.
peace & love,
xx Sin -
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well, its supposed to be like that. kinda how peoples feelings sway a lot, the rhyme does too. also the ups and downs in this situation.
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Great job with unforced rhyme...I really like the flow of this! Great job!
Lynda
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interesting piece with some subtle and not so subtle rhyming in patches, not sure which option this is meant to fit for my contest. you have described the confusion that comes hand in hand with love well, though some parts are cliche and repetitive. perhaps just explore other ways of saying things a little more. eg: "if I were to send my heart your way, what would you do?" try substituting it for something like this: "a piece of my heart I'm sending, yours by special delivery, would you keep it tender, or mark 'return to sender'?"
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i have in there it was for option 4. and thanks for the advice!
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I do like the poem, and the rhyming wasn't bad it just didn't seem to rhyme that much. Like sometimes I'll write a free verse and it comes out sounding like it has some rhymes. That's kind of what this is like. Great job tho. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thank you for your entry in the contest Dalaney 'Feelings' with this interesting poem.
All the best in the judging
Sue and Jeff
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I really like this poem. I am entering your contest and thought I'd check out your poems to see if I could use one and this one seems to be a perfect fit. Kinda like a part one to the poem I am going to enter which is a prewrite. It's strange! Guess you might see the comparisons once you read it.
And the ryming was fine, I know it is sometimes hard to say what you want to say when trying to rhyme but you've done a great job with this one.
Cayla
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a great write, it flows really well and is clear in its message. thanks for entering
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good job
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This is felt all too well. I just ended a two year struggle with someone. I am now relieved. The poem I wrote "The Feeling Inclined" which was taken from this poem was about that event in my life. It brought me down to the lowest parts of my mind and even farther. But now here I am Up in a pinnacle of peace. All because of Good-Bye. No word or thoughts exchanged. Anyway I should not rant. This was an excellent poem that really hit home to me. Thank you for letting me enter your contest and thank you for the inspiration to write.
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such sweet confusion. I loved it.
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