It’s a brutal sky
you said
and it was
intense gun-metal
heavy with haze
a hint of thunder-heads
or the Brocken-bow
of mountains looming
and bending low to us
you had stopped
a sack hefted onto your shoulder
by our pick-up
still as a poster
like a heroine of the Soviet Union
your eyes on the horizon
of a Socialist future
but you browsed the clouds
blind to dialectics
sweating
in your red checked shirt
I knew there was a jug of water
in the refrigerator
but it seemed a desert away
so I stood
and watched you
and the brutal sky
In a list
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
you should enter this here: http://allpoetry.com/contest/2417854
-
-
I see what you mean. Thank you.
-
-
I seem to find more and more that we have in common...I love Russian photography - there is a wonderful site called, Photoforum.ru with some fantastic Russian works. I don't know if you've ever looked it over, but do, if you have a moment.
Your free verse is something I read over and over...I learn so much from you, Mairi. When I say, you are the most superb contemporary female poet I've ever read, I mean it with my entire being. It is simply awesome knowing you. Love, Lane
-
-
Lane, the funny thing is, that is how I feel when I read YOUR poetry. You have something that I do not have and cannot emulate, and it knocks my hat off, time and time again.
I have checked out the phtoforum site and I see what you mean. It is not quite what I had in mind, though. Imagine this poster: http://www.davno.ru/posters/collections/propaganda/img/poster-14.jpg , but with more of this one in her eyes: http://www.davno.ru/posters/collections/propaganda/img/poster-05.jpg and you have the kind of "socialist-realist" image I was thinking of. The "faraway look" is also typical of the socialist-realism of Mao-era China. Like I said below, totalitarian hokum, but fascinating art.
-
-
Liked the vivid descriptive detail and the use of colour in particular to evoke atmospher and feeling. The use of imagery is extremely original, the reference to the Soviet poster really caught me and I know exactly the one you mean! Excellent use of contrasts 'I knew there was a jug of water/in the refrigerator/but it seemed a desert away' Can't understand why this hasn't had many reads or comments, it's one of the best poems I've read on here. Well crafted, very impressive use of techniques such as personfication - thanks for sharing. Hope others read and enjoy. Cheers.
-
-
I know it's crazy, but I love Soviet poster art LOL, and how folk always seem to be stopped at a moment, with a far-away yet determined look in their eyes. I know it's totalitarian hokum, but it's iconic. And it seemed to fit someone hefting a sack, looking at the sky. Thank you for your kind comments.
-
-
Wow, I think this poem deserves a boatload of reads because it is amazing!! I love the feel of the words, and the images you created were intense. Those opening 3 lines set the tone for the poem immediately and had me hooked right away. I believe my favorite part was the mention of the water seemed like a desert away. You could imagine that and you could feel that...reminds me that I actually haven't had a drink all day, too. LOL. Excellent job with this!! Elegant.
-
-
Ah, Grasshopper... thank you!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
