Amber coloured tongues speak, licking and tickling
an emflamed brain; mocking at crumbled sculptures,
for the heat proclaimes itself. Candle-light laughs
at scanty thoughts, and crushing yesterdays smile
metallic impurities into your face; a cry for alchemical
longing, where the snake of time can nesting, snuffling
all obscene languages to a paint-brush of holiness.
An broadcasting catches invisible strings, and crying
discrimination burns to ashes.
Author notes
Picture Inspired. Picture is called "Unravelling Fire 2" by carts on www.deviantart.com
No more than 20 lines.
Author: Nevel
"Amaranthine Lover"
A contest entry
- Deep Thought PIF by Errant Panther.
610 points, ended August 17, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From August 2008 by amaranthine lover.
2450 points, ended October 8, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I really enjoyed this piece, but you had way too many spelling and grammatical errors. Please fix for yourself.
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hi, thanks for the Hm. I shall edit it, glad you already enjoyed my piece.
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I did. I figured you weren't a native English speaker, which the errors are then acceptable. I hope you add me back! You are a much better poet in English then some of my American friends
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Thats a huge complement! Thank you! Of course I add you back. I still see myself as a beginner...and still learning, of course.
Erwin -
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still very much a beautiful piece!
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very thought provoking piece you have presented here, perhaps one needs to read this a few times before unravelling some of the abstract messages.
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Beautifully done ~
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Good Luck !!!!!!
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thank you, hopefully I can produce today some thoughts...
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good luck brother in this contest...
hmm I'm in deep thought.. thinking perhaps I'm in over my head here. competition is kind of heating up. lol
kat
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