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Thursday: A new page in the book

 

there is a gap between

hands and mouths

- especially her own


 

listen to the silent scream

plagued upon her tongue

spoken out loud in scattered breaths

to the ambulance man


 

he wiped the sweat from her hand and head

checked her blood sugar

monitored heart rate

pulses felt along smoothed-out veins

dropping into oblivion


 

pounding pain slapped her face;  jaw-line ached

positional portions of memories

mind stuttered

                                                      - not again! - not again!


 

                                         the day played out like a drum beating syncopated rhythms

                                         each one recovering release as morphine dreams spooned themselves inwards


 

patted hands, heads and hearts

family all there,

waiting for the unstable

to stabilise and the capillaries count themselves

the luckiest threads of a story still being told.

 

 



 

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    October 5, 2008

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    A sketch is here to reveal the changes of life which revela the results of the relationships around..a great indirect piece you brought...


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    September 1, 2008
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    Just came back to read this again... and again, all I said before... and again also, that first stanza is fantastic!

    Sol


  • Robbwindow
    August 27, 2008

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    This is about donating blood?

    oops Nursechilly that's my stuff, I see this about somebody being administered blood. Great poem, good scenario and the reiteration in the last verse is commendable. Yep something in this poem is definetely bubbling.


  • Allyce May gold member
    August 26, 2008

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    This is wonderful poetry, the first stanza in particular hits hard. The "gap between hands and mouths" says so very much and moved me more than you know. Equally, your last stanza is just as powerful - the capillaries counting themselves as threads of history is both original and emotive. I think what I love most about this poem is the way you have personalised it, for example, with the medical references. You've allowed the reader into your heart and mind to share what you feel and you've done a cracking job. This lingers.

    Thank you so much for sharing


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 24, 2008

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    I am so happy that you're here and that you wrote this poem... you know that, Gilly. This must have been a hard one to write because there is so much more here than the medical side of it. The first stanza points to distance for me.. "the gap..." - not only between your own hands and mouth, but the distance between life and death, between hope and despair, between stable and unstable, between that day and the "threads of a story still being told."

    Not just wonderful poetry, but courage, talent, spirit...it's all here - real life poetry. Love you, girl - thank you for being here in this contest, but for so much more.

    ~ Nicolette


  • S A Adelmann
    August 19, 2008

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    My mom is in the hospital as I read this. I picked a bad day to visit, in some ways, but I found the ending to be uplifting (maybe I am just craving that, but it was there for me). I hope all is well. Thank you for this.


    • NurseChilly gold member
      August 19, 2008
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      I'm sorry to hear that Scott, but let's hope like me, she is okay...
      I'm on the road to recovery now and doing alright, thanks


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 17, 2008

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    May your days be many & fruitful beyond compare ~ (in a literary sense, as well; I love this series of yours). May your nights be serene & soulful, lifting you slowly into dawn's waiting embrace. I'm glad you're here, Gill. Always have been, always will be. Good luck in Nic & Allyce's contest, Sweetie.



  • Shadow Lynx
    August 17, 2008

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    You are amazingly talented, if this was about you i pray you get well soon hun


  • DogFish silver member
    August 15, 2008

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    Warren Zevon's "Carmelita" was playing softly as I read this tale of all the rivits coming undone!

    The ending is a slug on the jaw,"Chilly"!


  • Lucy.
    August 15, 2008

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    Love you lots


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    August 14, 2008
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    so happy to be reading another amazing poem by you...



    al


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    August 14, 2008
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  • tara wilson gold member
    August 14, 2008
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  • Rowan gold member
    August 14, 2008
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    Yes, it is, and we are all so relieved and more than grateful. Love you Gillian. Now go rest!


  • IronIcecream
    August 14, 2008

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    conscience around in frames
    with graphic noise but mute
    like a vintage move
    melting in the projector
    silver liquid
    bird noise outside
    inside - the nothing comming
    zeroing
    the silence
    and you are about not to any
    name
    more
    longer
    somewhere there's an end of a rope
    hanging from familiar memories
    your fear tries to grab


  • EvilKate
    August 14, 2008

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    Distance, yes ... such a distance.




  • Cat
    August 14, 2008

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    no one on this site
    makes me cry from reading their poetry... what you write makes me feel

    what happens to you- makes me feel.. how frightened you must have been..

    how terrifying
    how painful- how good it is to have you here, back where you belong
    with us.

    m

  • Suzanne Dia
    August 14, 2008

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    gonna make me cry..



    caught one thing:

    snycopated.. probably should be syncopated

    this cuts right to my heart, gilly

    love you


  • iverbthenoun
    August 14, 2008
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  • The Bear
    August 14, 2008
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  • jantastic gold member
    August 14, 2008
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  • Mari Goes gold member
    August 14, 2008
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  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    August 14, 2008

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    WOW!!! This is amazing!!!

    The way you've told it, seems immaculate to me. You are indeed very gifted as well as much looked after.

    The first stanza puts someone straight to an essential concern, along with the thoughts of... vital need, dependance and "What is this?!"

    A fantastic write born of and conveyed with directness from first hand experience... Phew!



    x


  • Cannonsfire
    August 14, 2008

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    We all wait with bated breath for the next installment and your voice to keep singing Love, C


  • apples fell
    August 14, 2008

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    I am just glad you are alright.
    I felt this Gillian...Like a paper airplane flying too close to the water. When my grandfather had his fourth heart attack, he starting losing feeling on his right side and I couldn't help but see the pain in his eyes. He always said it didn't bother him that he couldn't lift his coffee cup in that hand anymore...But I think it did. I really do. He became much more introverted and well, I don't think even he understood how much simple movement meant to him. I think the most I learned from watching him is that the soul thrives under all conditions, be them great or small...And I know babes, you are strong enough to take many steps forward. And yes, this is poetry.

    ;

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