I’m a horrible drawer,
but a great dresser.
A good pair of trousers,
but I sometimes come up shorts.
However, I’m never not clever enough,
to lack an answer for when she asks me what’s after death.
So when I have fully thought out my answer,
I’ll tap on her window,
use a whole sink if I could,
and when she opens it,
I will sit on the sill
and gasp for breathe hastily before reciting:
“I think when we die the phenomenon of the light at the end of the tunnel is our soul going through a black hole and coming out as coal on a terrestrial planet in some parallel universe. So, while we kill our earth, it laughs because it knows it has some mirrored version of itself where the populace is burning our spirits. And it rips me apart to consider this so I hope you and I end up in the same automobile on the other side.”
When I die, I want to be cremated.
And my fingers are crossed that my soul will burn brightly along with my body and stay away from the general area of celestial anomalies.
I’ll have my ashes spread all over the earth,
so when it laughs at us for never fully understanding natural balance,
I can laugh too.
Author notes
More for laughs then to be believed. Take nothing seriously, and you will be underestimated, and always have the element of surprise...
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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WOW
You go boy!!!! Such profound thinking for someone so young. I liked this piece very much...especially "it laughs because it knows it has some mirrored version of itself where the populace is burning our spirits. And it rips me apart to consider this so I hope you and I end up in the same automobile on the other side.”
"The populace is burning our spirits"...great imagery.
Thanks for sharing.
Nevadapoet
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very good
good write, i agree with the others of aboutin my drawer -
I’m a horrible drawer,
but a great dresser.
A good pair of trousers,
but I sometimes come up shorts.
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that was amazing!
and so was this poem.
i like the idea and i like what you had to say
very nice.... -
I thought this was very funny! I loved the lines:
'I’m a horrible drawer,
but a great dresser.
A good pair of trousers,
but I sometimes come up shorts.'
Also
'I’ll tap on her window,
use a whole sink if I could,'
My sister and I used to play word games simillar to this all the time when we were young. Wish I'd come up with these. I'm loth to suggest changing this, but perhaps a return to the style of the first stanza to round off? Great write!
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If only there was a contest about the carbon cycle...
I don't like the "shorts" pun. It's too obvious, it's dad humor. I like the cutesy Neruda-esque word play before the poem quickly dives into earth science and existentialism but I'd use another pun. Maybe it works though since it's so cheesy. I don't know. good job.
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well done
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This piece was very intriguing, unique and insightful. I was delightfully surprised when I got to the third stanza. However, parts of it somehow made me think of Scientology..which is fine, I guess...but was somewhat unrelatable TO ME. Just a minor thing though.
Overall, great piece...very innovative and inspiring!
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Always good to read an original and imaginative write. I did like the sentiments expressed in this although I also found some of the lines over long which marred the flow a tad in places. By this I mean the final line of the first stanza and the second and penultimate lines of the final stanza. Regardless this was a thought provoking and indeed humorous write and I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
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Utterly Impressive.
Some humor, some depth.
"sometimes come up shorts"
"I’ll tap on her window,
use a whole sink if I could,"
Wow.. the thoughts you string together.. I can't say anything other than it really impresses me.
Your suggestion of what happens after we die: Anything is possible
Very last 3 lines sum up the spirit of your writing nicely.
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