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my pain is YOU

I get this pain,
whenever you're on my mind,
why do I have the urge,
to seek out old pictures,
and sure great memories,
all leave me feeling sad,
it's been so long,
why can't I just move on,
it seems you have,
I blame myself,
I called you "the one",
it seems I was wrong,
we have said our goodbyes,
but I feel like im still holding on,
to what? false hope,
I think not,
I just want all we've learned,
to not be lost,
it brings tears to my eyes,
to see you with him,
I would love to stay friends,
but this pain I cant bear,
I just want all the pain to be gone,
but im left here all alone.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Topaze
    September 23, 2008

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    The write was well done, explicit in emotion, I would prefer if you edited and put yourself in the first tense I rather than i, this makes a world of difference. Thank you for your fine entry, my best wishes always.


  • LOVELYmurder
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good job, Just a few mistakes but good. I like the realness of your write. Thank you for entering


  • upperworld06
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice, take it this was a very hard breakup if it was real. if not, you did a nice job making it sound that way. good job and good luck.


  • Silly Rabbit.
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow..
    This is pretty much what I'm feeling right now, actually.

    This is beautiful... It is deep and moving and heartfelt and just wonderful... You've done a wonderful job with this...

    Keep it up and thanks for sharing.

    [[♥]]


  • movedon
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Leaving my ex fiance was the hardest thing I believe I have ever done. And the memories are there...and I've tried to hard to just kick him outta my head. Sometimes, you need to just close your eyes, and cannonball in to a sea of forgetfulness. No matter how great it was...no matter how great it seemed at the time, the past is the past for a reason. Forgetting can be as hard as remembering.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm a FINE one to talk when I say this to you, BUT....
    Leave this one in the past and move on; apparently, the other person did
    Let go of the pain and concentrate on healing yourself
    Thank you for sharing this piece; I wish you the best


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Ouchies.

    it brings tears to my eyes,
    to see you with him,
    i would love to stay friends,
    but this pain i cant bear,
    i just want all the pain to be gone,
    but im left here all alone.

    I can feel your pain and misery. Kind of like someone jabbing a knife through your heart. Very well penned and good luck!


  • StarEyes
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    One can feel the misery in your words! I know, it is hard to realize, but we all have had simular experiences. And we all wish that very thing... To be able to move on. It takes time, we all love differently, some give their entire heart, body and soul to a love, while others know how to sheild it, so they don't hurt so deeply. You sound like me, you give everything, 150% and that makes it harder on you. Hang in there, the day will come when the pain lessens, and you will be able to pick yourself up and move on. I am here if you want to talk. Just know, I will not be here quite as much as I was. I have 6 months to finish my novel. (first publishers deadline) Just bear with me, I will respond...

    Best of luck in this contest!


  • wolfwatcher
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ill comment on your poem itself after work :-P


  • wolfwatcher
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    take it to the foot of the cross son, lay it all out to your Father. When you think of her, pray, talk it out with God. Than read His amazing word. Do it hardcore. Shes not everything, shes a dirty rotten filthy sinner, just like you and me. Shes not even a spec, just like everyone else. Compared to Him we are all nothing. Think about that, and than think about His amazing love for us, even when all that is true. That should blow our minds son. youll pull out, no doubt, you will be ok. No, pretty much righteously amazing, lol. Keep that chin up, and continue the journey. As Paul says "with your eyes on the goal." not on the past, but on the finish line. I wish that you were here fore Justins message, it was awesome!


  • Seven Kinky
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Eh...I wouldn't blame myself over something like that. Takes two to tango, right? If it's in the past, all you can do is move forward. Grab life by the balls and shake it into submission. Cheers to that!

1 - 11 of 11