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Distant.

Within the range

of touch

and still I can't

reach you,

our bedsheet

an acre wide

without crumples.

 

Stillness 

quietness,

is a distance

that keeps your

emotions abreadth.

 

Only you

have my answers

to the questions

my mind has outtraveled...

 

And as i search

in the depth of

what once was

I found us at the bottom

two ions apart

in the vastness

of a heart.

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Allyce May gold member
    August 26, 2008

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    I love the underlying message here, that idea of sharing a bed yet being emotionally distant. Often, it's the emotional distance that is the most jarring.

    "our bedsheet
    an acre wide
    without crumples."

    This is such moving poetry and leaves the reader with an ache.

    Thank you for sharing


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So close, yet so far, so out of reach... strange how wide a bed can be.. "an acre wide" and hearts "two ions apart" (some nice rhyming there are the end too). I also liked "outtraveled" - such a vivid image that word creates. Such a poignant write this is... yes, this is distance in all its stillness. Thank you for sharing this with us in the contest.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Cannonsfire
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like life is downgraded to rain


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Two ions or 2 miles

    once the feeling is gone, 'tis rare to get it back.

    Well penned.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome Detail...

    This is an outstanding poem, blowing the best of the best right out of the water!!! I'm referring to award-winning, best-selling authors like Heaney (your fave), and others. My favorite lines are these uniquely creative stunners:

    "Only you
    have my answers
    to the questions
    my mind has outtraveled..."

    Where doth thy puzzled mind travel on thy long journey, My Lady? Where doth ye discover thy rich netting ye weave into thy masterful web of high quality, emancipated sophistication?!!?

    Well done, and good luck!!! Peace & Love, Cyn

1 - 5 of 5