in a pool of
dead newspaper clippings
that spell out
the remainder of your life
libertine freedoms
taken away under faded city lights
the stink of cologne
and bare fish bones
where clouds piled high
in ghastly emerald sky
you cried your last cry
and said your last goodbye
as the innocence
fought it's
way out with
placenta fists
you put it
in it's place.
A contest entry
- Open up and give me emotion by Velvet Rose Petals.
1150 points, ended September 21, 2008, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From August 2008 by amaranthine lover.
2450 points, ended October 8, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pure Emotion! by xSarahx.
600 points, ended September 30, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this is exactly what I like to read
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Wow, straight to the point. The first stanza creates a lot of imagery and strikes questions, and by the middle you're wondernig if there's anything to really worry about... Atleast that's how it was in my case. I like the ending, it's quick and it just shocks you with a melodic kind of feeling. Good job!
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OMG
The imagery is so intense and paints such a vivid picture. And the emotion is raw.
Definitely gold trophy worthy. This is amazing.
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Woah intense. I don't think i have ever read something so breath taking before. I was surprised from the title and now I am in awe. Truly beautiful.
Rose
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Interesting write. I might not grasp the entire meaning of it, but the first stanza is amazing.
Warmest,
Mylee
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wow.. question is, do i get the hidden message?
maybe.. probly not.
this is beyond me my friend
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I think this definitely would have been gold trophy worthy.
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