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owl Kuhai

an owl on a silent flight
night becomes a hunt
where bird or prey must survive

Author notes

Contest Poem Type: Option 1 -- Kuhai (backwards Haiku -- 7-5-7 Syllable scheme)

Owl picture thanks to Wikipedia.

A contest entry

Ever hear an owl in flight?

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Comments


  • Solidified
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ahhh bakwards haiku, how neat.

    Enjoy the photo and subject you wrote about, I'm always up for reading about nature. Very nice.


  • yukitosumi
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Now that I read it again it does seem to make more sense. It does almost feel like a flapping of wings between flight and night. Now that I look at it from a different perspective, it seems much more... idk how to describe it but it works. This is why I think feedback is so important between poets and critics--I'm not a poetry god, I can't automatically absorb all aspects of a poem at once LOL
    Thank you for this beautiful poem!


  • yukitosumi
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I see that you chose to use a 5/7 syllable count, but I have no complaints since it does not seem forced to me at all; strictly formed poetry is always best when it seems like an accident: "Oh hey--that has a 7-5-7 syllable count--weird!"
    And your subject matter was a good choice.
    My one complaint is that the first two lines seem distanced from one another, where as the second and third lines flow seamlessly. I would also consider removing the punctuation.
    If you decide to make any changes, let me know and I'll check back!
    Best wishes,
    El