I breathe in thick air,
its stale edges scratch against my tongue
and I find my mind in tangles
… it’s staggering through this rainy day.
I never wanna leave your arms,
just can’t keep myself in tune,
cause it’s too damn hard not to want you
… I’m so impatient these days.
But in an instance, it’s good riddance,
cause it seems so useless now
to ever want a thing
… nothing seems to go my way.
All those signals flickered
and swept me off my feet,
yet somehow I still missed um
… guess all I saw was you.
And I know it’s foolish for me to tremble,
but you’re voice, it makes my skin crawl,
and I break to think of touching you
… but oh I think of touching you.
And I still wish you’d touch me one more time,
or whisper one more word,
and oh if you’d just kiss me
… well then you’d see that I’m still yours.
Author notes
Comments and critique much appreciated
A contest entry
- Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 336 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this could be a song!
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^_^ thank you
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I breathe in thick air,
its stale edges scratch against my tongue
only you can think of a phrase so wickedly enticing...
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Do you take classes for this sort of thing? I mean, you're quite fantastic at the whole making-me-blush-and-feel-like-an-awesome-writer thing
haha
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well not to sound conceited I am pretty much fantastic at everything I set my mind to do, but complimenting you is easy, because you are such a great writer & partially because I would like to know you better.
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Haha well thank you very much, that's quite sweet
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This is tragically beautiful. I know how it feels. Sometimes it just never seems to work out right. When you have something so beautiful and perfect and then things just slip apart.
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I like that your style is different, the way you arrange the stanzas. I like this poem a lot, good luck.
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Thanks so much, glad you liked it ^_^
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singing the sweet tunes of love but in a wistful kind of way, tell you what our styles of write are completly different. All the best in the contest
Thanks for droppin by again
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Ugh, more like the bittersweet taste of infatuation I'm afraid haha
And, once again, thanks so much ^_^
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