Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

let's run through a field of daisies, together

Glass walls do more than just separate your lips from mine
with a jolt of electricity I’m shocked to feel the shards break me.
This glass may be a mile thick, but apparently it can still be broken by our touch
& forceful pushing to get to the other side
[I need to feel your lips touch mine]

I feel bare whenever I see your smile
as if my clothes just melted altogether along with my heart.
& your smile is enough to make the glass melt
[maybe that’s the key to get to you]





One day I’ll reach that seductive smile of yours
& my happily ever after will be achieved.






----
iloveyou.
that's all there is to it.

Author notes

thunder.xx.paradise
wednesday

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • neoladyem
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That very dramatic poem about love ones being separated from each other. It really charming to read.


  • Fallen-Phases
    August 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very emotional, a neat write

  • She Stole My Voice
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Glass walls do more than just separate your lips from mine"

    oh my goddd.
    So simple and it's so strong.
    That line is my favorite :]
    ♥ ♥


    -Mary


  • Rovingone gold member
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was fabulous! It's just too good to be written by someone so young. I think you certainly have had a life time of emotion and experiances. Can't wait to see what you're creating in a year from now. What a super treat to read!


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow; this was penned with such beautiful emotion, passion & love. You are so talented and your words speak volumes. Loved this line much

    "I feel bare whenever I see your smile
    as if my clothes just melted altogether along with my heart.
    & your smile is enough to make the glass melt"

    Amazing write, definately deserves gold.. good luck in the contest!


  • innocence jaded.xx
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh wow I love this :] A little TOO much, I think. hahah. I know who wrote this, & I know that this was Wednesday's piece, but could you please add this in your Author's notes, dear haha. Loved everything about this poem, as it was so deep & full of overwhelming power. I can relate so well.

    -I feel bare whenever I see your smile
    as if my clothes just melted altogether along with my heart.
    & your smile is enough to make the glass melt
    [maybe that’s the key to get to you]
    ...

    BEAUTIFULLLL. I love the whole "& your smile is enough to make the glass melt." Very metaphorical. I loved it =) Thanks for the entry, love ! Keep it up !


    • etoile
      August 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yaay thanks
      damnnn am i that predictable haha


  • written-in-ink
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like this and it has a nice message..
    oh and a nice vibe that it gives. it makes me want to go hug my bf..
    idk
    in any case this is amazing!


  • superstition
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is really beautiful, and it just goes to show that we should never under-estimate the power of love. The mentioning of a smile making the glass melt was a powerful image and a strong tug at the heart. I think that was your best line in the entire poem...although it all was well-constructed. Nice job on this!! Thank you for commenting my work, as well. Appreciated.


  • aanika
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwww. so cute
    & very nice use of the prompt.

    & your smile is enough to make the glass melt
    [maybe that’s the key to get to you]

    ----
    ilovethat.
    that's all there is to it.


    • etoile
      August 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      aanika i love youuu
      you make me happy

1 - 15 of 15