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Merging as One

I watch the sun shine through the branches,
And I wait for you to stir
You fell asleep after we had our fun,
As usual, lying on the blanket,
With me on your chest.

We had the entire day together,
A day alone,
We went to a movie,
Then went to my house;
But there we could not be at home.

We grabbed a blanket,
Some fizzy pop,
We rode the bus to the park
And all the way you made me laugh.

We found our secret place,
The place behind the rocks,
You jumped down ahead
And I jumped into your arms.

The sun was blazing when we first arrived,
And I lay down,
With you by my side.

You spread yourself on top of me,
And slowly undo my clothes,
You slide yourself inside of me
And we merge into one.

You doze while I lie in your arms,
The most comfortable place I know,
And as you deeply breathe,
I watch the sun and the earth,
Merge into one.

Author notes

Emmm....
Yeah.
Sorry about the delay, I thought I had more time left :-S

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    This was so.... REAL.

    I dug deep into your words
    and pulled out life,
    in which remind me of my own.

    This was just beautiful
    and deeply expressed emotion
    dwelling within a heart that truly loves.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • etoile
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great job on the gold!!!
    i really liked the imagery, especially in the begining
    and the sensual part was very well done, not overly pornographic (which i really dont like)
    anyways, great poem, the ending is really cute

    ♥EmmaRiley


  • Rhythm Child
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    opening lines were really capturing, i love when the first lines are good cus it puts me in a good mind for the rest and throughout it was great


  • Hikari Lady
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Rushed and won Gold, I don't want to know what a slowly thought poem from you might win lol.
    Great write, I really loved the sensual part, it was kind of dreamy.
    Congrates and thanks for sharing.

    ~Noor

  • The Jigsaw Poet
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree entirely with Mizz Sunset This poem contains some amazingly beautiful imagery I really loved this poem Another great write im defo adding you to my faves

  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh no worry hun, I'm sorry if I rushed you, I just have so many contests going right now this one needed to be judged.

    NOW, about your poem; this was just BEAUTIFUL.
    In all your imagery, depth, & genuine emotions of love and the nature expressed within.
    I love how you went sensual with this.
    Your words really stuck to me, & left a lasting impression in my heart... because this reminds me of the love I feel for my ex-boyfriend when we were together.

    This was amazing..

    Thank you for entering & best of luck


    • letters to no one
      August 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      No it's my own fault, I thought I had more time :-S

      Damn pre-occupiedness haha

      Thank you for your kind words, I wasn't even sure if you were sensual but I gave it a shot, and it's the first sensual piece I've ever written...

      I think haha


  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hey hun, I will be judging this shortly.
    Please submit your poem soon!

    Thanks

1 - 9 of 9