Sunday morning,
and I've got my orange cup
with the large yellow sunflowers
balanced between my thighs on the bed
I've filled to the rim
rich carmel coffee that's even drawn
my dog's nose into the room
We're watching tv talkshows
weekend news and the weatherman
drones on and on about the summer,
sunlight and sweat
A hot one;
both the day and the coffee burning
tender thigh, while I try not
to notice the nightstand far away
It's a pretty day outside,
while I'm wishing it was winter
on us all
So I'd have thick wool pajamas
protecting my poor legs,
a lapse of judgement.
Author notes
: )
A contest entry
- black coffee in bed by Saffron.
1000 points, ended August 24, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Really good imagery, almost cinematic! Clear picture emprinted onto my mind. Great stuff.
I don't know what to make of the last line, though it is open, uncomfortable and lingering. This is I think is a good think. Things don't always have to have neatly tied up ends.
Nice- I realy enjoyed this!
Id X
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GOOD WORK!
Nice work and good imagery presented in this poem! I liked what you shared!! THANKS!
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I have to agree--this is a nice slice of life poem, and you put us all right there in the moment. I am happy to see this here, and I thank you for entering the contest.
Saffron
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I've done this, too. You do 'slice of life' poetry so very very well, sweetheart. Love, Lane
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Thanks!
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Good stuff.
Good luck in the contest.
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This is really unique and beautiful in a way that only you could do. I loved the tempo and emotional environment of this writ. The imagery and color are flawlessly painted into a smooth flow. I am glad to see you write again in the relative tone that you write. a most enjoyable read, and best wishes in the comp
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It's a shame you read this before I got the chance to revise this. Mine usually need work.
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