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A Solitary Life


tiny grains of excitement

carefully scooped, placed

and carved into a castle

such a beauty to behold

as it endures for a spell

until an incoming tide

causes a slow crumbling,

and walls surrender

washing away the structure 
returning it to that which it came

while time passes as before


Author notes

Written By Touchof1der
Word Prompt: Unknown - For some reason the word simply made me think of those strangers whose path crosses ours each day, some of which we see day after day but don't know and then suddenly, we no longer see them and wonder what has happened to them.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • leo2 gold member
    August 18, 2008

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    Congratulations on the bronze. Actually the title made me think about how I carefully craft each day with the hope of meeting someone to build a life with only to have it wash away with the tide of lonely nights. Then start all over at dawn.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

  • darrylblacksr
    August 16, 2008

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    First off let me congratulate you on your trophy and then let me say wow! All though life we meet, find, and cross paths with various people who seem to disappear from our lives but remain a blessing throughout the course of our lives.... Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem with me...


  • wattle silver member
    August 16, 2008

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    Thank you Ms Wonder, the poem is beautiful (beaty follows your pen). The explanation of your note allows the poem to breathe, grow life. --- Thank you (Master Mistress)


  • Driver X
    August 16, 2008

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    I like how you made the paralell between the sand, sandcastle and tide with life in general and the way we enter the world as well as leave it, often unnoticed or so we think. Good thoughts flow here.
    Driver X


  • faderman1959
    August 15, 2008

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    LIfe is an ever changing thing. Your poem shows this so well! I love the way this one makes you look at life in a different perspective! Great write lady!


  • sidewinder silver member
    August 14, 2008

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    interestingly we all evolve toward those paths that do change us forever allowing us to see possibilities that were never there before each of us!


    Interesting perspectives!
    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • ScarletO gold member
    August 14, 2008

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    What a thought that many of us ponder. To see an individual each day but not really knowing them. They are just an everyday face.

    Your poem seems to begin and end the structures of life but in a seemlessly quick manner. Life when viewed this way seems short, but that is just because we did not know their trials and life processes. I like how you describe it all as a sandcastle and then it is no more. Well done.


  • Balldinger silver member
    August 14, 2008

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    a dimpled cylinder of fascination overcomes a solitary life, unless the hourglass is turned over again and the sand shifts once more. you use all the right tools, Ms. 1der. ~ EZB


  • astralshepherd gold member
    August 14, 2008

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    this is an amazing poem, so descriptive of the truth of so many personal interactions, it is very true that some stay and some move on, as "who i am" stated, but i see the unknown part of this a bit differently. A while back, my daughter was in an accident - not her fault - but the car was a total loss. She was sitting on a curb, crying, and a woman came over and spoke to her and calmed her down, stroking her back, got her some water, offered my daughter the use of a cell phone, and just when my daughter's head was starting to clear, this unkown person was nowhere to be found. The poem is, as i said, amazing.

    blessings and best wishes,


  • protostar
    August 14, 2008

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    To be honest, I didn't understand how this related to my contest until I read the author notes, but this very beautifully written with such delicate imagery.

    Thankyou for entering.

    Keira
    Forever--x

  • who iam
    August 13, 2008

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    Like grains of sand in the hour glass;
    those we meet along lifes path do come and go.
    For whatever reason some stay while others quickly move on.Yet as an individual we forget we too become one of them.
    Your metaphors are well taken.
    Best of luck with the contest!

    • Touchof1der gold member
      August 13, 2008

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      It was actually the reading of your poem, "Moment -eternity,time- forever (acrostic)" that inspired these thoughts when I stumbled across this contest. I just happened upon it AFTER reading your poem and the thoughts and words tumbled out. So I have you to thank for the divine inspiration. As you can see... one never knows how we touch the lives of another.

  • Rose Angel gold member
    August 13, 2008
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    Awesome Write!


  • Midnight Lace
    August 13, 2008

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    I love this! There are so many grains of truth contained within these lines and the insightfulness in which you have shared is simply superb. Good luck in the contest!
    Midnight Lace


  • TXCowgirl
    August 13, 2008

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    One unknown life who faces the same fate as we all do, eventually. I like the imagery here. It leaves a lasting impression on the mind as do your words. There is also a bitter truth contained within these lines.
    TXCowgirl
  • Just4u
    August 13, 2008

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    Each person that crosses our path changes us forever, either in a good way or a bad and once changed we can never return to what we were, but can only move on, from where we currently are. This poem is an excellent
    metaphor for our lives, for each day past can be forgotten forever until triggered by a similar wave once again...

    Hugs...Eddy


  • TheRealDeal
    August 13, 2008

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    I must say that I do like where your thoughts have traveled with this one. Best of wishes in the contest!
    ~JLG


  • Adios Muchachos gold member
    August 13, 2008

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    Hi Kimberly

    Well, at least it happens at the beach, whose sights and sounds take the sting out of a friendship relegated to
    memory alone.
    Very poignant piece of writing! Just love the beach, and friends!

    John-Las Vegas

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