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you are [i still]

you are
my forbidden fruit
your skin
i have already tasted
you have
[tainted]
my lips with your posion
but
i still
want to take a bite...

Author notes

gracias!

http://darkrose42.deviantart.com/art/Black-apple-93272922



written-in-ink
i wanna be your hippo! [i think it ould be amazing..]
but anything would be nice..

not that great
but i think that it could go somewhere...

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • Pretty.Rave.Boy
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very nice.
    Such a weird, lovely, and creative thought.
    I like this, a lot. A Good write.


  • desiredpain
    August 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You may be my hippo! woohoo! I have a hippo! lol. Welcome to my AP family!


  • waitin4truluv21
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the garden of eden is like great inspiration

    i like the imagry in this

    "my lips with your posion
    but
    i still
    want to take a bite... "

    favorite


  • edit my world.
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    gosh lee bob
    this is great even if its short...i love this so much! thnkies for entering!!


  • Whispering-Night
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ooohhh,good job!


  • cherrylollypop
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ooooo who knew something so small cud be so powerful......


  • her-four-letter-lie
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    good job.

    not everyone can fight temptation.
    just like it shows in this poem.
    i like.

    good job once again.
    =D


  • poetrandy
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Re: you are [i still]

    Very interesting little poem! I didn't get the title at first -- but, the poem really cleared it up! Nice contemporary style. Good read -- subject very appropriate for this group! I do like the PIC you provided to go with this poem. Anyone with an addiction (I am addicted to chocolate) can empathize with this fine piece! Fine poetic work! Good luck in the contest!


  • written-in-pencil
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    gasssssssssssp juanaaaaaaaaaaa
    this is amazing!!!!!
    and i LOVE your title!

    if i could give more applaud i would.


    • written-in-ink
      August 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      aww
      thank you

      you looked at the pic right
      something about it reminded me of you...
      hahah


  • etoile
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is amaaaazing.
    it's short but so so so good
    you write so well i love reading your work
    and the imagery in this is amazing
    and judging from teh rest of my comments i think you can tell that i love imagery haha

    xx.Emma

    ps. goodluck in the contests


    • written-in-ink
      August 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      aww thank you!!!

      you make me all smiley!!


      • etoile
        August 14, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        hehee thanks
        your poems make me all smiley !
        btw im commenting on all of them incase you havent noticed


        • written-in-ink
          August 14, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          so will i
          hahahahah

          • etoile
            August 14, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            lmfaaao i dont think you wanna try that... i have over 100 poems
            but the only good ones are the recent-ish ones i wrote from like may-now :S


  • desiredpain
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice! I loved the picture you painted! good luck!


  • Angelflower
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Who doesn't ever want to take another bite of that forbidden fruit?! It's something that we enjoy at the moment but regret in the light of day sometimes you did a wonderful job with this prompt.. thank you very much for sharing.. Best of luck in the contest..

    Angel


  • Nostalgic Moon
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this! i think its great haha


  • Hell In Harmony
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I deffinately like the feel of the poem
    reminds me of something I wrote once

    " you are the venom to my bite."

    anyways. I agree with your author notes
    its a good start


  • novacaine.
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yeah. i love this.


  • WTF-Hatchwork
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Sweet

    death by skin poison!!!!


  • Riamh
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done! Lovely poem.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh, I love this one. It's so...mysteriously alluring ;] hahaha. I love your poems. Woot. I especially loved the whole "my lips with your poison." Very twilight-zonish. Lovvvved it :] Keep it up foo <3

1 - 31 of 31