you are
my forbidden fruit
your skin
i have already tasted
you have
[tainted]
my lips with your posion
but
i still
want to take a bite...
Author notes
gracias!
http://darkrose42.deviantart.com/art/Black-apple-93272922
written-in-ink
i wanna be your hippo! [i think it ould be amazing..]
but anything would be nice..
not that great
but i think that it could go somewhere...
A contest entry
- Semi - Quickie!! by Sweet Impatience.
980 points, ended August 21, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help fill my AP family by desiredpain.
380 points, ended August 21, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything && everything by edit my world..
492 points, ended September 17, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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This is very nice.
Such a weird, lovely, and creative thought.
I like this, a lot.
A Good write.
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You may be my hippo! woohoo! I have a hippo! lol. Welcome to my AP family!
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yay!!!!!
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the garden of eden is like great inspiration
i like the imagry in this
"my lips with your posion
but
i still
want to take a bite... "
favorite -
gosh lee bob
this is great even if its short...i love this so much! thnkies for entering!!
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aww thank you!
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ooohhh,good job!
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aww thank you...
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ooooo who knew something so small cud be so powerful......
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good job.
not everyone can fight temptation.
just like it shows in this poem.
i like.
good job once again.
=D
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gracias!
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Re: you are [i still]
Very interesting little poem! I didn't get the title at first -- but, the poem really cleared it up! Nice contemporary style. Good read -- subject very appropriate for this group! I do like the PIC you provided to go with this poem. Anyone with an addiction (I am addicted to chocolate) can empathize with this fine piece! Fine poetic work! Good luck in the contest!
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thank you
thank you!
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gasssssssssssp juanaaaaaaaaaaa
this is amazing!!!!!
and i LOVE your title!
if i could give more applaud i would.
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aww
thank you
you looked at the pic right
something about it reminded me of you...
hahah
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this is amaaaazing.
it's short but so so so good
you write so well i love reading your work
and the imagery in this is amazing
and judging from teh rest of my comments i think you can tell that i love imagery haha
xx.Emma
ps. goodluck in the contests
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aww thank you!!!
you make me all smiley!!
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hehee thanks
your poems make me all smiley !
btw im commenting on all of them incase you havent noticed
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so will i
hahahahah -
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lmfaaao i dont think you wanna try that... i have over 100 poems
but the only good ones are the recent-ish ones i wrote from like may-now :S
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Very nice! I loved the picture you painted! good luck!
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Who doesn't ever want to take another bite of that forbidden fruit?! It's something that we enjoy at the moment but regret in the light of day sometimes you did a wonderful job with this prompt.. thank you very much for sharing.. Best of luck in the contest..
Angel
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exactly!
and thank you very much
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wow i love this! i think its great haha
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I deffinately like the feel of the poem
reminds me of something I wrote once
" you are the venom to my bite."
anyways. I agree with your author notes
its a good start -
yeah. i love this.
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gracias!
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Sweet
death by skin poison!!!!
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you know it!
best way to go...
hahahah
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Very well done! Lovely poem.
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Oooh, I love this one. It's so...mysteriously alluring ;] hahaha. I love your poems. Woot. I especially loved the whole "my lips with your poison." Very twilight-zonish. Lovvvved it :] Keep it up foo <3
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