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Snow-feilds

Blanketing snows
cascading over birches,
elms, dogwood and maples.

Icicles borrowed
frozen senses
snowmen, snow-fortress,
play
men's minds.

Snowballs whizz past,
vague distortions
snowy ice.

Frozen fields
enfolded warmth
woolen dress
shapely pursuing,
working/play
riding out
horse-pulled sleigh. 

Falling light
feather dust
keeping wonder,
seeping deeper
ethereal years.

Hearts enfolded
etched in snow,
leaves me with
eternal glow.






Author notes

9. Snow fields forever

I was thinking of free-verse but keeping compression in mind
eliminating filler-words trying to capture more imagery.
It is an experiment. There are a few rhymes that were quite accidental, but which I feel adds to the poem, so I left them in.

 

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • penman gold member
    August 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Such a wonderful creation. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Arkbear gold member
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I see your edit.....noted ~

     

    Bear ~

  • Eusebius
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    Lovely and it conjures so well the cold and snow and the thinking of winters present and past! bravo... bravo...

  • Arkbear gold member
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hi Tirrell....long time no see Buddy ~

     

    Comma after birches*.....but, as I told others, I am critiquing these entries, only enjoying your use of the Prompts

     

    horse-pulled*

     

    Deleting Filler Words are a must in nearly everything I write....especially the PO' & SO' Contests.....you did well....however, you have to stay focused on subject and allow your Tone & Flow to enhance your write, even without unnecessary words ~

     

    Nice job Tirrell....good luck and God bless,

     

    Bear ~


  • Jalalbad gold member
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ahhhhhhhhh, this is delightful. once again I love your snowy pen


  • suseann
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your subtle rhyme only adds to the imagery in my opinion. Visions are the draw allotted via this authors fine examples in description.A well versed piece.

1 - 7 of 7