in the darkness you are known
to yourself, your actions owned
though there may not be another who would care
if in darkness you exist
you will have to reckon this
with the deeds and liberties you take in there
if the darkness should insist
that you undertake, resist!
For the darkness knows your weakness best, I fear
A contest entry
- the darkness... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended August 27, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick a word - Write a Poem in 10 LINES or less (C) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended December 14, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I really like the overall presentation of this piece. It makes a wonderful soothing effect though it speaks of darkness. Good message in this as well
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Nice write. love the rhyming and rhythm which worked really well, and the imagery of the darkness is great. Best of luck in the contest.
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Humm..you have enlighted the darkness and its relativity with us..and that is the ttruth one...well done..
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Strangely, I am far more scared of the light than the dark. This is a succinct yet well structured piece. The syllable count appears to be flawless & it scans effortlessly. I think the three stanzas of three lines is just about right. Three is a magical number anyway. The way the lines in the stanzas get progressively longer each time reinforces a creeping feeling of doom. I like it. I give 3 scary yellow beings from the abyss.
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i enjoyed this a lot! i like the simple rhymes in it. I like how it seems so deep and descriptive, yet so short.
Lovely, lovely, lovely! =D good luck in the contest.
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