it’s that momentous feeling
born into the world
with such rhyme
and reason
when I struggle
on the doctor’s office doorstep
shoving my badge down the droopy leg of those god-awful pants
pulling out my last match
scraping it hard
swearing, my breath fogging my glasses,
when I cannot get it to take.
and the woman I’ve just seen
is scowling at me
her mouth twisted to mirror
the hoses from her
oxygen tank
as her forgiving,
understanding,
loving
son
walks her to a vivid vehicle
that is polluting the air more than the two of us ever did
her and I.
so when it does crackle
and hiss
like a covetous creature
trying to eat the wood
before I can fumble
sliding out
one thin cigarette
and suddenly
if only just
for one singular
moment
it all makes sense.
Author notes
ugh.
not very good.
A contest entry
- hypocrite by the atlantic.
2300 points, ended September 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments are appreciated
Comments
-
I think it's very good and very relatable on my part. The realistic nature of the piece combined with great imagery and emotion pulled it all together. The ending was subtle but I know exactly what you mean. Great write, thanks for entering
Jeanette*~
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Hmm...the hypocrite part of it didn't really stand out to me until I went back through and reread it. Subtle can be good, though. Good luck in the contest.
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