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Contrite in Moonlight

 

 

I shall not block the sunshine anymore
for fear that she will leave me come the night
to go illuminate a distant shore
for when the morning comes I will have light.

In loving bliss I kept her twelve hours full
believing that her light and warmth were mine,
till wills celestial exact their pull
and darkness comes fulfilling God's design.

Through tears of loss the twilight grays return;
Where is my light gone? Why am I alone?
Now I have paid my dues enough to learn
to just appreciate what I can't own.

The world will spin yet I'm not keeping score,
I shall not block the sunshine anymore.

 

 

 

 

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • maa gold member
    October 11, 2008

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    I like this one very much ...
    besides that it is a beautiful poem, it reminds me of a session of zazen I participated in a few years back ... the zen-master said : "when the day comes, we welcome the day - when the night comes, we welcome the night" ...
    apparently, very simple words ...
    yet they left a lasting impact, mirroring my tendency to fight against "what is", always wishing that things, people and situations were different from what they are ...

    thank you for this poetic reminder of the necessity to practice the attitude of "surrender" ...

    maa


    • PerVirtuous
      October 11, 2008
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      Allignment with our true purpose only comes from total acceptance of and surrender to our environment. Only this perspective fosters dormant systems of thought to come to the forefront and guide us to a life unimaginable to the reason-bound ego. Thanks for your lovely comments.


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 23, 2008

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    We did say no end-line rhyme but when rhyming is done as smoothly as this and falls as softly on the ears, and the meter is so consistent, then I don't mind rhyme at all; in fact, then I love rhyme. This is indeed how a sonnet should read and sound. There is a lovely spiritual/philosophical quality about this poem that speaks to me about acceptance despite the dark distances. A well-written piece - thank you for this entry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Allyce May gold member
    August 22, 2008
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    As I recall, we did ask for no end-line rhyme, but this sonnet is quite lovely I think it's clever how you have weaved the ideas of light and night into this poem; the waning of sunshine that leaves us in darkness. There are so many beautiful things we can not always hold on to that become distant to us.

    Thanks for sharing


    • PerVirtuous
      August 22, 2008
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      I thought end rhyme meant two consecutive lines rhyming. Shows what I know!!


      • Allyce May gold member
        August 22, 2008

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        It does, they're at the end! LOL! Nevermind, I liked this Smart cookie


  • Amera gold member
    August 19, 2008
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    I love the flow of this sonnet. It's different yet melodic. The image seems to be emotional and full of indecision. As Mairi said you used little punctuation letting natural caesura do the work. I also agree that this is a piece of art. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 19, 2008

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    Good work, easy-winner rhymes, minimalist punctuation (you don't need the apostrophe before "till"), slide-rule construction. But what really lifts this one is the repetition of the first line in the fourteenth; it's unorthodox in a sonnet (though I dare say you can quote me other instances), but it is very effective, takes us inexorably round to the beginning again... ah but... the final couplet itself, the place where many sonneteers fall down, is right on target.

    Sod the contest rules, let it stand as a work of art.


    • PerVirtuous
      August 19, 2008

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      Who are you and what have you done with Mairi! Ha ha ha. Thank you so much. This one was a lot of work as nobody gets true Platonic Love. Not the misinterpretation of the European community, but the original concept of Plato himself; Love is the appreciation of beauty and goodness in all things. It begins with love for someone and then is vaulted, expanded, transferred to everything else. You have to give up the lover to love them more. Platonic love is not posessive. The merchant mentality of Western culture has lost this most enlightened concept completely and is determined to balance love's ledgers at the close of each business day. Thanks again.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 15, 2008

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    Brilliant penning Allan, but the contest rules specifically state, "no end line rhyme.” Even us, "non stylish amateurs can follow directions.


    I know, I’m a smartass.

    • PerVirtuous
      August 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      They rhyme? Wow! That was completely coincedental. Hah! Who'd have thought that could happen. I am glad you pointed it out.

      You actually read contest rules? You must care if you win, then.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    August 14, 2008

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    Extremely well done I just love your refrain...some words stick like glue to one, these will linger with me; thanks for sharing lol and good luck

  • bluefeather
    August 14, 2008
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    I like this...

    So well written and beautiful, really.


  • echo-ink
    August 14, 2008

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    Yet another beautiful and touching write. Very sad, though.

    I see a lot of metaphor in this, many deep two-fold meanings, but I got the messages loud and clear, as I see from the other comments, other's did as well. Fantastic write with very deep emotions.


  • HisDirtyLiLPoet
    August 13, 2008

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    This reeks of womanhood -- lol (jus' kidding -- get ya nails back away from my backside ladies)

    All I'm going to say is -- SORROWFUL JOY! The joy always comes later. So sit back and be patient as you'll find the joy when the time's right.

    Your friend,
    She-ra


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 13, 2008

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    Sounds to me like letting someone go who we feel we have held back, blocked their light... but I cannot imagine you ever doing so... more a teaching and then a letting go perhaps.

    Beautifully written... definitely made me pause and think about the things and people I hold close, and if any of those need letting go.


  • klassy lassy
    August 13, 2008

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    Exceptional

    A sonnet! so well done in rhyme. You leave me smiling, albeit sadly, at the wisdom of loving and letting another go. Still you harbor the glow of warmth and beauty that sunshine brings to what it touches, including an open heart. It's liable to fill it to the brim!

    Lovely poetry, and yes, touches deeply in the acceptance of what is and is not.


    • PerVirtuous
      August 13, 2008
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      Thank you. Yes. Funny how the less we own the more we have.

  • Amera gold member
    August 13, 2008

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    This is a wonderful flowing masterpiece of grace laced with raw emotion. I love your sonnets and this one is no exception. You never really blocked the light you know.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • StarEyes
    August 13, 2008

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    My dear friend,

    This one touches close to my heart this morning. For some reason, I am reading quite deep into these words, and find a lot of abstract meanings that is grabbing me. I am sure I am reaing deeper than you intended, but that is ok too.

    I really enjoyed this one a lot!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love my friend

    Nyetta


    • PerVirtuous
      August 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I doubt that. I spent a lot of time putting the deep in there. Thanks for noticing.

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