I have told you all about me,
no more secrets, you see.
You can read me like an open book,
turn the pages take a look.
If you look deep inside,
you will see the reasons why,
I some times cry.
On the outside I am tough,
I know how to handle my stuff.
I can laugh and joke with the rest,
some say I'm the best.
As the story goes on,
the chapters one by one,
you will see what I am
a vulnerable, young man.
So take care of this book,
read it and take another look,
but don't put it on the shelf,
and forget.
The story has not ended yet.
A contest entry
- PREWRITES!!! ENTER NOW!!! by xCandieKissesx.
475 points, ended August 14, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your soul by poeticcaresses.
600 points, ended September 22, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Work? by RedAquarius.
550 points, ended January 27, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver Pre-Writes by Leance.
450 points, ended July 12, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I would like to thank you for taking the time to view and enter my contest.
Contests here on Allpoetry are a lot of fun and I hope that everyone enjoys them.
I will soon be posting a contest for BRONZE only poems. I do hope you will consider entering.
If you are dreaming, you should be writing
For dreams are words we should share
Sharing makes us all stronger
So thank you for sharing your dreams and words with me
Judging:
Title I think the title is a little cliche as it is over used. Maybe something like, Shelflish Chapters or something. Just something more of an attention getter. Often times our titles make or break the poem.
Content Content lacked somewhat. I would like to see this lengthend, I think it would be quite good if you added another "chapter."
Imagery Imagery was appropriate to the poem and rhyme.
Grammar It appears your grammar is pretty well in tact.
Flow Flow was good yet some of the rhyme felt forced and slightly clique.
Overall, I enjoyed your "Open Book". There are so many of us in today's time that have a lock and key like a diary. It was refreshing to have read this.
Thanks again for entering.
Leance
A goal is a dream with a deadline.
-Napolean Hill-50 -
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Thank you for reading
and your comments. I will certainly take note. As for chapter two watch this space.
best wishes Carl
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Truth, we are all more than anyone will ever really know in my opinion. Nice flow, good write.
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One of my favorites! I would never put you on a shelf! Just give me the chance to read from cover to cover!
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Very good! Very picturesque, good rhythm. I love it! Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Thank you, carl.
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(:
As the story goes on,
the chapters one by one,
you will see what I am
a vulnerable, young man.
So take care of this book,
read it and take another look,
but don't put it on the shelf,
and forget.
The story has not ended yet.
Woah! Compelling or what? Great job and good luck!!!
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I'm of the opinion that you can never truly know all there is to know about someone. Then again, maybe that's becuase nobody has successfully undertaken the endeavor where I'm concerned. Cheers to not letting the book get dusty.
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Thank you, I won't let that happen, Carl.
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