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A love like I have never known.

"Here in your arms,
I feel as if
I am just going to wake up
and you'll have..."
I start to say in his ear,
locked in his love filled embrace,
his hands in my hair,
as I listen to his heart beat.

"Faded away?"
he finishes for me,
looking me straight in the eyes,
a soft look upon his perfect face.

"Don't fade away,"
I whisper softly
to him longingly,
clutching him ever tighter,
never wanting to let go.

"I wont fade away,"
he replies,
a gentle kiss upon my cheek.
"Not from you."

I sigh,
my heart full of pure love,
nestled against his chest.
"I just want to be close to you,"
I tell him,
looking at him,
my hand on his face.

His beautiful eyes,

tell an entire story.

"You will always be close to me,"
he says,
a smile upon his mouth.
"Always."

He kisses me softly on my lips,
utter happiness
consuming me,
loving every single moment
we are together.

"Always."

 

 

 

 

Author notes

A moment too perfect to let pass unnoticed.


1- good love

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Shenanigans
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aw, very sweet. At first I was like, ehhh....because dialogue can be overboard, or lost in translation a lot... but because you carried the conversation all the way through it works to tie in the rest of your piece. I like how you structured it...some of the descriptions were a little high school, but I get the impression this piece is more about your personal experience/thoughts so I can't really criticize that.... One thing I thought was cool is the vague hint of vulnerability in this...the fear of the person fading away... I believe that is very honest, perhaps even one of those unintended subconscious things that snuck in when writing. Excellent work, good luck with your fella, and best of luck also in this contest. --Shannon


  • babydollxgonexwrong
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    These moments are beautiful when we're in love and find someone we can trust enough to give our heart. Nice incorporation of the dailogue.

    My only critique is basically the same I've been giving everyone--a little cliche. Perhaps involve stronger imagery or a more narrative factor to break it up a little.

    Thx for entering my contest! :]


  • NerdGirl
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    All I have to say is: Wow, girl!

    This is great and you really captured the essence of "love" and "sweetness" not very many others can.

    Great write and even better to read.

    Good luck in the contest, deary.

    ♥ Harley Quinn ♥


  • omg-its-sara
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awwwwww thats really cute!

    thanks for entering!


  • SomeonesToySoldier gold member
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very touching. You made it easy to feel the emotional bond between the lovers. The poem is slightly cliche but its still not bad. It is ver tender. You did a good job. Thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • sapphireangelwings
    October 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The emotions this brings to the surface of the readers heart......mesmerizing and lovely!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank-you very much for an enjoyable read unfortunately my contest requires a pair of poems so I cannot consider yours for the final.
    Thanks again and all the best
    Jeff



  • Baisi
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so full of love and passion... So full of detail... And, I'm speechless.


  • Samantha Marie
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awh that really is the perfect moment
    I wish it would happen to me
    amazing write,
    thanks for entering and good luck

  • misterfish
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You know, I still remember that conversation word for word...Yes the real thing was magical, but I actually preferred your version.


  • unavailable
    September 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful!


  • SincerelyMegan
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, agreed!
    A moment way too perfect to let pass unnoticed.

    This was adorable, and I was getting lost in it as I read!
    Great job.


  • A63-Angel
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful! love like this is something I think we all long for. may you always have love like this in your heart.


  • Summer52
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Young love is different from us seniors...
    Young and restless sometimes, no?

    Yet, I'm no different from what you
    are feeling inside... love and love alone
    is what we always feel...for him/them.

    I'm a widow but I still feel love
    and my heart is beating for him
    like a school girl, starry-eyed
    and the shape of my pupils are
    always heart-shaped....still young
    at heart.


    Beautiful...


    Summer51


  • musicsmyworld
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow! this did give me tingles! lol
    but what i wanna know, is if HE had allpoetry??
    becasue if he doesn't, then does he get to read the poems you write about him??
    how long ago did you write this?


    • November-Dani
      August 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I wrote this realy recently. No, he doesnt have allpoetry, i just email him the ones i want him to read
      he hasnt read this one though.
      love love
      dani

  • wendymolly
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    entirelyendearing, alot of feeling went into this, great imagery and subtly provocative giving way to innocence and youth everlasting. stay true to your heart like this.... and you'll never go wrong in life!!!!


  • Ms. Black Eyeliner
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful i loved it


  • musik-freek
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Always... God I wish... you make it feel so real... why cant i have what you have? i need a hug

1 - 19 of 19