Disconnected, Discontented, and Distasteful feelings,
Flood my heart as the phone rings again.
With every passing ring,
Comes the sunken rejection.
I NEED to know you're OK,
I NEED to know i'm OK.
I NEED to know you're alive,
I NEED to know i'm alive.
I NEED to talk to YOU.
You're the only one there for me,
Always willing to talk or listen.
You put up with my reminiscing trances,
My bogus lies and disturbing thoughts.
So, as the phone rings,
And I hear your answering machine again,
I am left with the longing,
To hear you again.
Author notes
please pick up
A contest entry
- How is your mood? Quicky by Meroza.
300 points, ended August 13, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow me away by LaLaLie.
1144 points, ended September 8, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
*Sigh*
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I thought this was really powerful, you really captured that sense of wanting and dependance. I loved the repition of the phrase "I NEED to know...", that was very effective. I also thought the first line was very clever and it really drew me in to the piece. Your ending realy closes the piece but leaves a lot of emotions out there for the reader to ponder and relate to. Great work x
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It's not fun when you reach out and no one is there to help you. You did a good job of conveying your emotions in this piece.
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Breath-taking...?
Wow, this is... wonderful! I figured I should comment on one of your poems, anyways... this is beatiful! really amazing poet -
It do suck when the person you just -have- to talk to dosent pick up the phon. It can be really iritating and frustraiting.
Interesting way of capturing your mood.
best of luck
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Heh...hate it when that happens. Then again, I'm a firm believer in face to face conversations when it's anything important. At any rate, nice write and best wishes. Good luck in the contest.
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