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Edens candy

Candy blossoms blooming sweet,
towering flavoured aromas high.
Pop-sickles swell with corolla flush,
dancing with beauty from each bush.
Lollipop florets bud with blazing stars,

shining their beauty out  real far.

Suckers twine with pretty petals ,their

fragrance calling the bees to their balm.

Roses sprinkle out their taste and smell,

with strawberry cup  treats from Edens

garden seats.

 

 

Author notes

promt 60 words in 24 hours
8. Lolipop Gardens

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Darkwell
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    such a lovely flow and it makes me hungry

    strawberry cup treats from Edens
    garden seats.

    i just love that and i loooove strawberries

    Good luck in the contest


  • Tirrell
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very nice flowing peice, that leaves me in a sweet and pleasant mood. Seeing in imagery leaves my thinking of both a gardens beauty and the sweet smell of a candy counter. Beautiful write.


  • Arkbear gold member
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I just want you to know, the suggestions I gave are not counted against your write, as this is not a contest to critique.....only to see how well you work off a prompt

     

    Bear ~


  • Arkbear gold member
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    So pretty.....but check CAPS on words.....Lolipop*...&...Suckers*

     

    Comma after flush*

     

    Comma after stars*

     

    Comma after petals*

     

    Comma after smells*

     

    Nonetheless, very pretty.....good luck & God bless,

     

    Bear ~


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A fantastic poem you have written here hun
    Love the words and such a candy created garden.
    Must say my most favorite line is

    fragrance calling the bees to their balm.

    Best wishes in the contest
    Julie


  • luna-midnight gold member
    August 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good luck ^_^

1 - 6 of 6