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Uneasy

My pearl appears fleetingly,
in swirls of shadowed lucidity.
(I often browse the night sky.)
Invisible stigma climbs critical,
to deny dimpled pristine summits,
(I wish for softer mastery removed vagueness.)
where clouds are captured not by any slight;
rather by means known to spirit placed right.
 
 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    August 13, 2008

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    I wish that I could take away all the doubt and uneasy feelings that you have but know that I am here and that I care love you


  • Meroza
    August 13, 2008

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    This has a sorrow in it, hidden in the words, longing to come out in the light. You captured your mood well, hiding behind words.

    I hope today will bring you a better mood ^_^

    Best of luck


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    August 13, 2008

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    Where clouds are captured not by any slight
    rather by means known to spirit placed right
    This says a lot to me, my favourite part i think
    Nice job


  • notorious gold member
    August 12, 2008

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    "My pearl appears fleetingly"
    This is a mood? It's not a very concrete one...aha!! It's POETIC. That must be your mood.

    Just kidding. I likey the first line a helluva lot. 'tis annoyingly pretty.

    "shadowed lucidity."
    Some cool ass juxtaposition going on here.

    "(I often browse the night sky.)"
    For stars? You...nerd. Hehe, like these bracketed lines of (intentional?) humor.

    'stigma'<--kick-ass word, yeah!!

    "deny dimpled"
    LMAO...your alliteration cracks me up, & you do it well, YAY.

    "removed vagueness.)"
    Nifty.

    "clouds are captured"
    Never tried this myself.

    Good luck


  • Cannonsfire
    August 12, 2008

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    I think you let your vulnerability show in this, we often think we know exactly what is is but then we question ourselves and are never sure anymore. C


  • no longer a member
    August 12, 2008

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    This seems more than uneasy, - but sorrowful or settled? You have a unique way with word use.

    softer matery - removed vagueness.

    Interesting expressions. I liked this though it made me feel very sad and vulnerable. ~Bramble


  • edens-envy
    August 12, 2008

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    I love the simplicty of your words in here as well as the form. It almost reminds me of E.E.Cummings :j Keep it up nicely done

1 - 8 of 8