Sinking into a cloud as deep as an ocean
driving gasping breaths into the rock-littered ground
playing hide-and-seek between colorful corals.
Those are only dreams, and dreams they will stay forever
reality is different and not as beautiful.
Mud appears on walls where your hand struck
a hole, deeper than your heart appears in the cement and bricks
no one else has enough strength to destroy my home [my heart]
I’ve been winded by trying to inhale all your words
I’ve been left gasping for air when you left me to drown in the sea
& all the salt couldn’t get me to float back to the surface of your love
Your treasonous words put me into prison where I awaited death & his home
Because of you I have a new motto
‘why be optimistic when you can be pessimistic and still live just as long.’
I’ve been poisoned from your kiss
& all the apples you give me won’t bring me back
In my world fairy tales are fairly tales
& truths rarely end up saving the world.
& explosions of the heart
will eventually cause a meltdown.
Author notes
title prompt: lithium - evenescence
In a list
A contest entry
- music-inspired ♥-fun for everyone! by Immortal Obscurity.
400 points, ended September 17, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I enjoyed this.
you are a very talented writer.
I'm looking forward to reading more soon.
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thankss
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I would venture to say Lithium would have this affect.
Well written and composed poem Thank you so much for entering
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Hmmm... I really am stuck between a rock and a hard place here. This started off really strong, and I was about ready to declare this poem the winner, but after line 12; "your treasonous... home"; the spark just fizzled. The motto-thing just killed the mood for me, and even the beauty of the subsequent stanza couldn't resurrect whatever it was you'd had going.
The song you chose is my favourite of all-time, and it's hard to recreate the magic of Amy Lee's lyrics. A valiant pursuit on your part... Thanks for entering.
Laura
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You picked a difficult topic to write on with this one, I think, but carried it off rather magnificently for me - the imagery was just brought to life with deep colour ranges, and somehow, I found myself feeling liek I was standing on a rock out to sea with a strong wind blowing around me whilst reading this ... Bravo, and good luck in the contest
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Very lovely with its serene tone so subtle and beautifully devastating
Great impact yet again for the reader as the lines were penned to provoke such thoughts and emotion, indeed
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wow!!!
this i think is really good.
"I’ve been poisoned from your kiss
& all the apples you give me won’t bring me back"
that i thought was amazing
and although i dont agree with your motto it is pretty amazing anyways
i can see where it would come from...
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loveeee this.
a hole, deeper than your heart appears in the cement and bricks
no one else has enough strength to destroy my home
beautiful!
also love the first three lines. -
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thanks aanika
i was kinda having a brain fart when i wrote this so it didnt turn out the way i wanted
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