Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

right here.right now

just a minute ago, i was floating up amongst
the birds && bees--

now I'm down against the cold compost
feeling the earth moving from the worms
&& slugs crawling around beneath me.

my throat feels as if a snail has lodged
its shell under the skin on the left side

&& my heart feels slightly like you don't care for it right[here.right]now

Author notes

Tuesday [=
How I feel.

Kiss the girl--x

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Atrophya
    August 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you silly goose. awsss what happened? =[

  • Broken-Bones
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, your images are amazing. My skin is almost crawling and I don't even mind the creatures you describe, it is just the way you use them to convey so much more. I loved the ending as well, it really put across that feeling when you doubt how much someone cares. Great Work x


  • faderman1959
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You nailed that down in the dumps feeling wonderfully! Isn't that an odd way to put it. But its true. Nicely done!


  • innocence jaded.xx
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LalaLOVED this :] Especially just the whole concept of it. Metaphorically speaking, you are a metaphoric writer. I honestly wish I could write metaphorically, but I really can't. bahaha

    -my throat feels as if a snail has lodged
    its shell under the skin on the left side
    ...

    Incredible. Loved those lines. & my favorite part had to be: right[here.right]now. Perfecttt =) Keep writing, dear ! & keep it uppp ♥