in the silent aftermath
surfaced
two points of habit
pop and fade, red light across
the bed’s warm landing strip
then we talk of random things
dreams and
should we decorate, again
mother’s foot
the sneezing cat
the hopelessness of weaker men
later
as the other sleeps
the poet hooks the gargoyle’s voice
pins it to the gabled frame
and listens to it moan
in the silent aftermath
surfaced
one point of habit
pops and fades, red light across
the cooling hands - the naked time
then random decoration
denies the sigh and shallow truth:
getting dressed
glory gone
the sour game of editing begun
Author notes
Prompt: "I hope I never feel this...shallow"
Dark answer: "Oh but you do..."
Chuckle...
In a list
A contest entry
- I hope I never feel this... by Cannonsfire.
1750 points, ended August 21, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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when i read you, i read excellence - simply superb. Love, Lane
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I don't know if shallow is the word I would use here, but I guess I understand the connection your making. Hollow/empty/sad pantomime, sure. For me, it was too sad to really be shallow, even from the viewpoint of reflection. Resigned...lots of words I can throw at it.
Outside of blabbering about that, it made my face fall. (I mean that as a compliment) Totally heartbreaking. Anything must be better than stagnant. I feel a desperate need to go out and have a meaningful moment now. Guess I can add useful to the list of descriptives for this piece...thanks.
Added afterthought: Is it a guilt over such thoughts that brings up the word shallow? To look back at the moment in such a cynical light...I can see that making one feel wrong.
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Beautifully worded. Very smart. The mundane takes over when people have nothing to say to each other. I love the ending. SO many end this way in their relationships. I think the flow was very nice. Love the tone too. ~ Joyce
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Excellent.
"the poet hooks the gargoyle’s voice
pins it to the gabled frame
and listens to it moan"
Luvit.
Good luck in the contest.
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lol at your author notes
Yes I guess at some times in our lives we do feel this shallow, it makes me feel as if I just got out of a bed with a lover I never knew lol a one night stand and hey well...if it was good 
perhaps shallow sometimes is a good thing lol. Nicely done here. Love, C
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