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Barefoot Barely Breathing




stepping
onto cold tiles
jarring shock;

numb
seeping
through nerves,


i swallow
my only breath...











Author notes

15 words
Prompt: barefoot barely breathing

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Desire gold member
    August 16, 2008

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    Thank You!!

    Thank You for Your entry: Barefoot Barely Breathing
    This piece tugged hard at Spirit and while I was reading which I do several times~ Images come to me in many forms~ while taking in Your words: i swallow my only breath...- now after reading this for some reason- I kept getting phrase: buried alive- also seeing an image of a pyre- and reference to *book burning*- also getting reference to *smoke inhalation*- this may sound wild but after reading again- I was being shown an electric chair- and seeing a person strapped in- reference to 1976- also given name: Ted Bundy buttttttt connection to a coin toss- being given phrase: heads or tails- lethal injection(denied)- however heads- reference to *fried- chicken* then applauses- strange sounding- yet being shown reference to hitchhiking-hold onto thumb Whether metaphor or symbolism
    Hopefully this makes some sense~
    Excellent take on the prompt ~
    Magnificent images & message You have brought forth

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Spirit!
    Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    **Judging will be done shortly...
    Many blessings too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~