hesitation heaps inside my head, horrific
yesterday's replay haunts
positioned myself against the wailing wall
occasionally a slide down, where knees met gravel lapsed
crying as the climb up, like ivy covered bricks bolstered
readily, that double talk of twisted tongue
insistent upon righteousness
tames me to a fault, against foe filled with folly
even those considered best have wayward ways
In a list
A contest entry
- hypocrite by the atlantic.
2300 points, ended September 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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I, too, loved the truth and introspection of your piece. The only thing that I didn't favor was how it doesn't sound extremely personal. Not saying it's not a great poem, but it doesn't have the emotional touch of a first-hand experience (though I'm sure everyone has experienced this). I hope I make sense
I loved the alliteration, it fit in well with everything. Your diction was fantastic and refreshing, as well. The ending is perfect and sounds almost like a life lesson. Thanks for entering 
Jeanette*~ -
I love the truth and introspection of these lines. You have reached into everyman's story and made the spiritual tangible. So beautiful executed, doll.
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crying as the climb up, like ivy covered bricks bolstered
readily, that double talk of twisted tongue
insistent upon righteousness
Amazing lines. Congrats on the spotlight! -
You Really do deserve all three applauds for this poem. I really love it!!♥♥♥♥
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Excellent!! I love the way you wrote this!! I can feel the emotion that you used in this write!! VERY WELL DONE. I LOVE IT!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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So profound my Dear lady,
Great allteration and usage of wording just brings this poem to the heart of the reader.
Bravo.
Warm thoughts.
frozentearz
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so special, yet so universal
The one scene you describe is an archetype of situations all of us live and re-live several times, sometimes on a higher and sometimes on a lower scale (i.e., the situation does not necessarily have to be this dramatic). Your use of allitteration creates a well-fitting frame and sets the right accents where it occurs. Good work.
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deep and very nice. good luck in the contest with this write here
D Finest
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I like it - i like its style - which was inspired by the comp, but none the less, very interesting to read.
this works very well as a shorter piece, would be interested to see this style in a longer piece, that could be really interesting.
thanks for posting.
James
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wow ....
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So True Sis,
A powerful hitter indeed sweet poetess sis!
Thanks for sharing your talented soul, and pure heart.
Much love, brother Timothy
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Powerful
We are all hypocrites. It is born into our blood, a thoughtful and evocative poem here, indeed. Wonderful use of alliteration! This is seriously magnificent. Deserving of the spotlight. Great write with amazing observations. Great read.mandie
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Powerful, a message we can all relate to, and definitely deserving of a spotlight!
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funny thing with this... there is old saying...
where one points there is always 3 fingers pointing back at you.
yet when we strive for perfection... we all seem to fail.
yes Renee you have me thinking again!
well done my friend!
Bill
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Great job and congrads on the spolight!
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We are all hypocrites. It's just that some are bigger hypocrites than others. Thank you for writing this and allowing me to enjoy the depth and honesty of your work. Bravo!
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OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!!!!
Hi:
I can truly say that you have painted
a clear and perfect picture of what a
hypocrite really is!
I can actually visualize the innocent
looks, the words of solace which are
only the way of winning one over, just
to later hurt.
Outstanding piece you have written
here poet, outstanding!
Blessed be always,
AngelicMistress...Tanya
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Opinions matter I suppose, if we look at who holds them we would see so much to make us wonder...a thoughtful and evocative poem here, indeed...PK
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Ain't it the truth ... we've all been at that wailing wall but we all have a bit of that harpy in us as well. Wonderful use of alliteration!
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Amazing...I hope you win that contest. I really like your work...I love the depth that exists in all of your poems.
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Intense
I feel oppressed when I read this poem. A sad glazed view of a an archaic expression. Very deep yet surprisingly topological.
This is indeed a fine piece of work.
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There are so many hypocrites.
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This is a beautiful piece and really it deserves to be in the spotlight, great work and loved the way you hjandle this topic
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Not just did you produce a very thought provoking piece, but added more form to it's body by your acrostic rendition, that couldn't have been easy, but you got it bang on the nail, excellent.. as always.
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woah! loved this
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the last line is very true
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Even most hypocrites have to adhere to the 'peter principle'...rising to the level of their incompentence. Yet some meet this criteria simply by opening their mouth. I wish you well in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Great job I liked this one its one of the best poems I have read from you. Keep writing.
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title?
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Dang, this is seriously magnificent. I like it so very much. THis is how I want to write, but I am not there yet, I am trying, and trust me, I want to master your style, oops my vocab is not as fat as yours. I guess I will just be me, and in the mean time, I will keep on reading your works. Wish you the best of luck in the contrest
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Damn!
I don't know where to start talking about this 'work of art' wow, I can hear you reciting this out loud, and man i can see me being there while you do and cheering loudly! especially if it were to be levered at some of the biggest hypocrites around..politicians! l.o.l.(actually i was thinking bush, but what the hell? l.o.l.) great write my friend, i see gold in your future!
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"occasionally a slide down, where knees met gravel lapsed
crying as the climb up, like ivy covered bricks bolstered
readily, that double talk of twisted tongue"
Oh wow.
Seriously, you should win.
No, you BETTER win because this is so beautiful.
Good luck! :]
♥
-Rainbow.
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