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"She'll Be Gone"

Verse: Like ev'ry night, last night she ran away
To a place where lies hide all of her pain
She always said if her life came to this
She'd leave him behind, she wouldn't give in
Still she tries to drink him off of her mind
And pretend nothing's wrong this one last time

Chorus: Just one more day and she'll be gone
'Cause deep down she knows she was wrong
To believe their love would last forever
So she drinks another glass
Pretends that it's her last
And swears next time she'll be gone

Verse: The more she drinks the more she needs his love
And she's already drank more than enough
She always thought she'd be stronger than this
But once again the bottle's gonna win
She keeps telling herself that soon he'll change
But everyday it's just more of the same

Chorus: Just one more day and she'll be gone
'Cause deep down she knows she was wrong
To believe their love would last forever
So she drinks another glass
Not knowing it's her last
'Cause by the morning she'll be gone

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Darkwell
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    i love the idea of this and its like getting back at the guys and their joke about keep drinking til she looks good too its hard to give up a guy if it was ever good but like drugs they lose their appeal and pretty soon they're jsut habit. WTG


  • dustytiger
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    your songs are really hitting close to home for me, they make me think of a combination of myself and my best friend as i am reading them, it's slightly heart breaking, but still fantastic, great work again... wow


  • upperworld06
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    wow ending kinda leaves you like in an ahh state, not AH, but ah, you know like, yeah, w/e lol, nice job and thanks for entering


  • Dienush
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "she's already drank" - drunk.
    I love this...


  • TabbyCat
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Even though there was a typo or two in this one, I really enjoyed it because it spoke to me personally, to the place I am in in my life right now.


    • RestlessDreamer
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment. I didn't notice the typo before. I changed "be" to "by" in the last line. As far as I know that was the only one. Thanks again!


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That's a nice song. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.


    whisper


  • Loveable
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you asked wether or not the ending would be a good or bad out come. well i think its a lil of both she keeps sayin she goin to leave and but she drinks alil more and winds up stayin but at the end "she drinks another glass
    Not knowing it's her last
    'Cause be the morning she'll be gone" i take it as she drinks herself to death by tryin to drink away reality so the good out come of it is she finally does leave but the bad is she kills herself by drinking to get out
    i dont kno i kno im statein the obvious but i thought i was beautiful

    • RestlessDreamer
      September 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment. That is what I meant for people to think. I wasn't sure if anyone might take the ending as she finally quit drinking and moved on with her life.


  • MichaelLeeSmyth
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A pretty good write, I would like to ask though, next time what?

  • piccola silver member
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice country lyric. Verse 2 doesn't seem to have consistent rhyme however, which the contest rules call for. There's time to edit if you like; or remove the poem, whichever you prefer. Some people don't like to change their work, which I understand.

  • copper29
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.

    To be perfectly honest, I've seen this theme more than enough times, but your version was one of the better ones. I love how I can "hear" the song while I read the lyrics.

    Thanks for this wonderful read.


  • LaylaLace
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This will be a beautiful country song. It rings so true: two addictions that one just can't seem to be free of.
    Very well done, I shall be reading more of your work.


  • anaisnais
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love country music and his rings typical of the sadness usually held within most.. Always a shame we can't here how you put to tune, but looks great on paper!


  • unavailable
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ouch....





    very good!


  • Bee gee silver member
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    real cool

    this is real cool. puts me mind of whisky lulaby.no i'm not saying your copying .along of things can sound the same but are not.real good job.as i said before i'm bookmarking you.Brenda


  • Childofserenity
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice, this is my first songish poem. thanks for entering.


  • Somebody-New
    August 16, 2008

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    wow, thank you so much for telling me to come and read this, i am so glad i did. this brought tears to my eyes as i read it, and i can really see the same emotions that i tried to express in my own song/poem.
    this is a sad but gorgeous piece of writing, thanks so much for sharing, and thanks for commenting me work

1 - 18 of 18