the goat stares
at the sun, onyx blind
to its pale promise of warmth
death confers
a yellow indifference
dream white marrowed bones,
snow blood-blossomed
beneath that promise -- too bitter
for comfort in a breath
earth fallen
trembled to a solstice
drum, too short for echo
beneath the rings of Saturn
spun against hungry stars
Author notes
Capricorn...of course.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Yikes!
I like this because it's spare and very balanced
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The first three lines in this piece are the strongest, but the rest is no slouch. Its a rare day that I run across a piece attempting to portray death and not roll my eyes at the blase nature of of the overdone subject matter. However, this, I would not have missed. Well done.
~Das -
goats make me hard
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(and I)
unnecessary intrusion.
shouldered heavy
beneath a burden
of tomorrow's flesh
that must feed today
might work better as lead verse...
end is at hungry stars.
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Yes. You are, of course, correct.
Thank you.
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One can certainly feel the heavy weight of Saturn in this write.
I am in particular taken by this part;
shouldered heavy
beneath a burden
of tomorrow's flesh
that must feed today
because Capricorn learns very early in life that little if anything is freely given and security is earned through blood sweat and tears .. and sometimes even when they have given all they have to give ..they still windup empty handed.
thanks for entering
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wonderful
yes... funny how the key word here for me is 'bitter'
somehow that says so much more than the rest of this..
and oddly relates to that winter's tale
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