I try
To love you well
Falling short, I can tell,
At breaking down fences.
Only a shadow of what you deserve,
I blunder shattering senses.
You weep in your cell
Hidden so well.
I try.
Author notes
Rictameter with Word Bank. The following words or forms of them were used.
shadow
shatter
fences
loving
weeping
trying
broken
hiding
This is my first attempt at a rictameter.
A contest entry
- Rictameter Word Bank by piccola.
900 points, ended August 17, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Nicely done. I've also tried a couple of these but not as well as what you have done.
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Thank you for reading and commenting. It was a challenge to do it in rhyming form.
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Classy stuff
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YaY.
. I am glad you liked it. I have fun with word banks.
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love it..... wow your amazing.... i just love your writings... keep on cause i love reading you... best of luck in contest... and thanks for sharing this....! hugs my brother...
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I am glad you enjoyed it. I like to try new kinds of work. But I am a stubborn rhymer.
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Lovely, you have masterfully used the rictameter in this one, so much so it barely read as such, best to you in the contest
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Thank you. I guess they dont usually rhyme. But, I never do free verse. It was a challenge to try to do both in the same poem.
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BRAVO !
Well done my friend, your talent is expanding
All the best
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Nah. You know me. I rhymed in a site full of non-rhymers. But, I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Lovely rict you have penned here. It is a non-rhyming form you know. That is, you may do it either way. Rhyme or not as you please. Thank you for entering. good job.
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This is the best piece I've read this morning. I love this form, and should try it one day, you make it look easy, though I'm sure it isn't. The wordbank words captured are well placed, you did a fabulous job with this, best wishes and blessings,
Jin
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Thank you for you wonderful comment. I am still trying to master the rhyme. Adding something like this form in is hit or miss.
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Trying is what it is all about. Nice job on the rict and with the bank. Best wishes.
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Thank you very much for reading and commenting.
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BRAVO!
Great first try - if you as me. I loved what you did with the words.
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Thank you. I have never tried this form before. I think the poem is simplistic, but it was fun to try.
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