I lie here for I cannot sleep
I hear the tears that mothers weep
For children they no longer kiss
Embraces they'll forever miss
Kids who died on foreign soil
Fighting for our U.S, oil!
War mongers shout a battle cry
While countless men and women die!
But if we found another way
Our children might not die today
In my heart I know if we unite
We could surely end this senseless fight
Bring home the children, do not wait
Before we find that it's too late!
How does this poem make you feel? What was your general impression?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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yes! yes! hell yes!
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I Love This!
I totally agree with you here and I wish
that the whole world felt like this. There
are hundreds if not thousands of people that
die everyday for these senseless wars. It's
a terrible feeling to know that this goes on.
Great work expressing yourself in this poem!
Jeremy0826
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Yes Yes Yes
I am moved and touched by this poem b/c of the friends I have serving in the us military and I myself only a few short months away from going army...I pray a similar prayer every night before I go to sleep.
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Nice, powerful write. Enjoyed the rhyming and the fact you were able to make your statement while keeping the rhythm, flow and rhyming consistent. While I may not totally agree with the sentiment, I respect your opinion, and you've done a great job with this poem.
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Thanks for the comment! Not everyone feels the same aboutanything at any given moment! That's why we are unique creatures! Thanks for taking the time to comment!
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Your opinion is definately strong in this, an amazing piece for sure. I'm not prone to liking set rhyme but this was pleasant to read, though the subject was not. Very strong ending. Thank you for sharing.
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Really like the first four lines. I felt the ethnocentric opinion was a bit too obvious with the inclusion of "Kids who ... for our U.S., oil!" If the lines from "Kids who died ... to men and women die!" were removed, the poem could be seen as a lament for all who are affected by war, not just appearing to be written for the sorrows of one country alone.
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i like it and agree with you, maybe it's a little one sided in that our children are killing as well as dying.
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I could relate to this, it's sad and terrible what families have to go through because of war. I have a poem called "a lady's battle cry" which I was reminded of because of the "battle cry" in your poem. It's a bit rigid, but only in the sense that it feels like it's from a 3rd person point of view, regardless it gets the emotions, thoughts and opinions across. I agree with your words 100%! Bring home the soldiers. End the feud.
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