At the death of the sun,
the moon rises, and awaiting
becomes an age, filled with need.
Drops fall blood on rock,
where prayer lingers, as awaiting
becomes a stumble, filled with abandon.
Heaviness turns into loneliness,
the prayer, silent, and awaiting
becomes a threat, filled with shadows.
Sounds whisper in the air,
the night broods, and awaiting
becomes certainty, filled with love.
Under shroud of darkening skies,
His lips move forgiveness, and awaiting
becomes both, death and Life.
Without robe or wrap or thorn,
the Sun rose, and awaiting
I am, with gratitude, His return.
In a list
A contest entry
- awaiting... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended August 25, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Thank you
for the honour of a bronze. Frans -
Your last stanza is amazing. How beautifully you have captured and moved images to the edge, waiting, needing and personalizing each moment.
Without robe, or wrap or thorn - such simplicity in the rising of forgiveness - when turn is taken for self.
Excellent. ~Pamela
-
AMAZING WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow my friend, This is a beautiful and powerful poem of life and death and the waiting in between. And the waiting is so worth while dear friend, as we find eternal life with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ when life on earth is done.
Such an uplifting poem to read this Sunday morning. Thank you for sharing.
You take care way over there.
Hugs and Smiles.
Bless You,
Sandy
-
Great. Compelling. Life and death. The imagry was wonderful. I would appreciate any feedback you could give me. Thanks
-
At the end of your journey, my friend, there will be no surprises. May you be blessed along the way with much health and happiness. Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
-
Ah..what a touching and appealing immagery bringing the essence of the life and its meaning is brought..wonderful task you did my friend....
-
Awesome imagery...
Seriously, this is a very special poem, with meaningful content spilling forth from your muse's imagination (like the brilliant poet that you are). giving pause to consider the beautiful wonder of it all. 
Just an absolutely fantastic piece!!! Best of luck to you in this contest!!! Peace, Cyn
-
I enjoyed this poem a lot Frans,
it was very soothing and tranquill, it was loving, beautiful and full of appreciation for your love of jesus.
I read it twice and still i feel calm and in thought of what will come. what ever comes i pray it will be he.
Thanks for this brilliant poem, it should be published and i know, just know it's a winner.
dolores xx
-
The poet made the personification ...
in this poem a personal one; experiences of nature interwoven into individualized feeling, but at the same time universal. Forever humble, the poet is aware of the inner struggle as it becomes manifest also in nature, during the dark of night. But the promise of Dawn does not stay out; forever the forgiveness ... and the return of light.
The end of this poem is just so beautiful, for what is more pure than the rising Sun, and how interesting the word order in the last line (not "I am, with gratitude, awaiting His return", but now, written the way it is, the I BECOME IN HIM and HE WITHIN THE I, His return to Life! Jesus lives THROUGH us, in mercy and Divine Love.
Wonderful work, as usually, Friend.
Blessed be.
Myra
-
Wow, this is absolutely beautiful! I loved how you showed each and every stage of the spiritual journey, and you really did capture the emotions and events that take place in a situation such as this. Each stanza built on the other one so nicely, and each stanza also begin to hint more and more at peace and contentment. This is very well put-together. Loved reading this. Thank you.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
