Mr & Mrs Twee on a Church Excursion!

Dedicated to all Church Coach Trippers!


The annual church outing was a must for the Twee's.
Little realising it would reduce them to their knees!

The Vicar in his usual cassack frock,
Rounded up all of his flock...

Off set the coach with paritioners seated,
But then a row broke out that became most heated...

It seems that Mrs Twee felt most put out, you see,
Ethel Black had taken the seat where Mrs Twee wanted to be!

Mrs Twee was subsequently pushed to the back,
All in favour of Ethel Black!

Mrs Twee with face like thunder,
Wanted a words about the blunder...

But Ethel Black just would not budge,
Causing Mrs Twee to bear a grudge!

Mrs Twee in a temper marching back to her seat,
Fell as the coach jerked, right off her feet!

In the aisle lay Mrs Twee,
Who was in a temper for all to see!

The coach then veered around a sharp corner,
Basil Smiths coffee spilled all over her!

Mrs Twee was now in a mess,
Coffee stains all over her new dress..

You silly old fool cried Mrs Twee,
Making Basil Smith snigger and Ethel glee!

Few of the paritioners liked Mrs Twee,
They all thought her far too snobby!

By the time the coach arrived at its destination,
Mrs Twee had caused yet more commotion....

So much so that Mrs Twee,
Had to spend an hour in a lavatory...

Trying to clean up her new frock and hat,
Everyone stood around waiting, get that!

Alfred Wicks got very annoyed at the wait,
Whilst his wife Edna was sent in to investigate!

Finally Mrs Twee emerged partially clean,
Amidst many asking "Where have you been"?!

The church party set out for some afternoon tea,
Many wanting this to be minus Mrs Twee!

Mrs Twee insisted on a window seat in the cafe,
For Molly Flanders this ruined the day!

Then Mrs Twee grabbed the biggest scone and jam,
Until senile Barry grabbed it in a scram!

Mrs Twee tried to snatch it back,
But caused even more unwanted flack!

Scones on a tray were thrown up into the air,
As the waitress trying to duck was caught in the flare!

How petty can you be,
Trying to take afternoon Tea with Mrs Twee!

Mr Twee eyes rolling toward the ceiling,
Was by now angry and given to reeling!

The vicar failed to diffuse the fracas that ensued,
And soon became worried that they might get sued!

Sued for damages to the seaftont cafe,
O'h dear what an ungodly day!

Mary Topper disgusted at Mrs Twee,
Tried sneakily to pinch her cup of tea...

But Mrs Twee caught her in  the act,
And naturally she did react...

Mrs Twee tried to grab back her cup,
But the cup spilled all over her lap!

A terrible mess was very soon made,
A peaceful outing soon put paid...

Why on earth did Mrs Twee,
Have to come on the church outing to the sea?

You might well know there would be terrible trouble,
Bursting the paritioners outing bubble!


Copyright: Kazytc
August 2008