It was the ship of wonders
It was going to take us to the city paved with gold
And it was, in every way
Warm water, clean cabins and a sense of a new beginning
The ship was massive
There was so many places to investigate and explore
If only it lasted
But sadly it was not to be on this maiden voyage
It happened so fast
The water came quick and the life boats came and went
I wish I wasn't there
In my cabin I sat, feeling the tilt and hearing her moan
Bye-bye mummy, bye-bye daddy
As the sea's salty water lapped up my legs...
1507 souls lost their lives
on that day
may it ever be remember
and
surely not forgetten
Author notes
My Heart will go on-
I studied the Titanic for a couple of years, since i was facinated by it and this is a poem is in memory and dedicated to of the souls which were lost their lives of that night and thus never the sun rise again... -Yorkshire Rose
A contest entry
- The Best of AP by ageofdarkpoets.
450 points, ended October 6, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANNA CLICK IT. by Xxnightmare21xx.
625 points, ended March 2, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [ Anything Goes ] by HereComesTheSun.
1100 points, ended April 22, 151 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewite Contest II by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
480 points, ended April 20, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me a poem about your FAVORITE SONG!! PW allowed, ANY TYPE OF POEM and song is allowed by The Falls Sun.
400 points, ended June 7, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Enigmatic Rounds-PREWRITES- Round 1 by MysteriousWhisper.
400 points, ended July 24, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
-
Yes
-
Yes
-
rules
please check over the rules of my contest, you have overlooked some -
Good one, nice lines
-
Good one, nice lines
simple and beautiful
-
its so sad ,.. i really like it. the little person is very cool thank you for enterinf my cintest and good luck
-
This is a beautiful poem! Its very sad! Great write. =]
-
i love how you right write about events, and how you write about them well even though you have not been there you take your poem to the next level and really showing meaning in every word you write.
thanks for entering
-
Great Work!
This was really cool. I liked the telling but I agree with abuyi, in the sense that perhaps just going with the second lines would help the flow of the poem. Anyway I thought this was poetic and personal. Great Job!
-
Oh cool I loved this absolutely amazing piece thank you for sharing!
-
i love this poem, it is my favorite movie ever, and its just so sad that, that many people lost their lives on that ship becuase there wasnt' enough life boats. But thank you for entering my contest. Its greatly appreciated.
Your Judge
kaycee
-
your imagination dose you justice,
-
This is so sad, I really hate to remember the Titanic only because so many people lost there lives when there could have been more lifeboats, etc. It was so unnecessary, I feel so sorry for them all, it bring's me to tear's when I watch Titanic to think of all those people not rose and jack, but the real people, who were they? What did they think before they died... Great poem, a good dedication.
-
beautifull written. i love the way the tone sounds and flows like swells out on the ocean. it's sad and reflective, causing the memory of terrible tragedy darken and soboer your mood like the stillness and emptiness of a cathedral with candles lit to pray for the dead flickering feebly in the lonely corner. this is my favorite part:
I wish I wasn't there
In my cabin I sat, feeling the tilt and hearing her moan
the way you brought the ship to life as she drowned in all her tragic glory is epic
-
hi!!!!!!!!!
this isa very interesting poem i believe
the title TOTALLY drew me in!!!!! how wonderful and how you echoed that idea throughout. excellent.
i like these lines especially
Bye-bye mummy, bye-bye daddy
As the sea's salty water lapped up my legs...
1507 souls lost their lives
on that day
may it ever be remember
and
surely not forgetten
awesome. and so cool how you actually studied the titanic!!!!! i have only done so as far as to watch the movie 28396472364 times!!!! hahaha
but best of luck with this piece, it has true potential!!!
-
beautifully written, totally original aswell, i loved it from start to finish and i think it was a lovely aswell as sad take on someone from the accident
-
This was very unique. I don't think I have read a poem about the Titanic before. I think this was good, but it would benefit from a few more details to make it a little more real for the reader. But you get major points for originality.
-
wow how you put yourself in the place of this child. I thought the subject of the titanic as interesting myself. I loved the movie... and the theme song was my favorite for ever!
-
from the commenting community
I love the concept. It's like reading the words of a ghost. Seems a little strange that someone would just wait in their cabin, but then again... it's as good a place as any. I can't imagine!
Keep writing. -
I loved the movie, and enjoyed reading this poem about the Titanic. Saw the museum in Halifax that has bits and pieces of the ship's findings in it. Well done.
-
reminded me of the movie titanic. i like your imagery and the simplicity of your work. difficult emotions were summarised in mere two lines.
what really hit me was how you structure your write.. every line proceeds with its own deli ma.
but i really liked the write without the beginning lines .. its more poetic in that way.
It was going to take us to the city paved with gold
Warm water, clean cabins and a sense of a new beginning
There was so many places to investigate and explore
But sadly it was not to be on this maiden voyage
The water came quick and the life boats came and went
In my cabin I sat, feeling the tilt and hearing her moan
As the sea's salty water lapped up my legs...
1507 souls lost their lives
on that day
may it never happen again
thanks for sharing it
a.z.a
commenting group
-
Wow. My god, this is incredible. I love it! It's great!
-
You did an awesome job with this. The imagery is perfectally excuted and the whole piece gave me goose bumps.
-
this has a powerful impact, wonderful write. i really enjoyed the voyage you took the reader on. although it was sad, but it lets the heart think, rather than the mind.
Stephanie ♥ -
Wow! This write gave me shivers! I had no idea there were that many lost souls! You have really captured the history of the Titanc. I think you have done a fantastic job. Thank you for sharing this with us, thank you for your comments on mine as well.♥
-
Wow, that reminds me so much of the movie! I like it when poetry brings out a vivid memory of something. I enjoy stuff written about the Titanic, so I liked reading this. I like the idea and perspective, like Silverstar1993 said, and I also think the title gives a mysterious awe to the piece. Great job!
-
This is so heart wrenching, I hated watching the movie, it made me cry!. This is such a great perspective though, and it's very cool.
-
i love it..
nice job
-
ooh i liked it!
so sad tho. wow onlly 1507?
i swear it was more than that............
lol
great poem!
-
that's sad
i liked this poem very much...i never imagined writing about it in the point of view from a child who lost their life on that doomed ship...touching and emotional and evocative. kudos to you, keep it up.
-
amen.
Adding your comment:
1 - 31 of 31
