Dismembered body
found in bags
scattered over hillside
hands and feet
burned to hide identity
puzzling investigators
as case grows cold
young body now lies
broken and forgotten
bearing only a tag
with the word
"UNKNOWN"
Author notes
Prompt: Unknown
50 Words or less
Jeremy0826
A contest entry
- PIF Quickie - Word Prompt by Page Deleted..
450 points, ended August 15, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's? (V) by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended August 16, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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aww so sad and that this crap exists is horrenduos great job
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Spooky and creepy, indeed
I like the feeling on what the reader can pull out from reading this write ^^
Even lets the reader picture the scene and the impact was simply marvelous
A good write for its brevity, all right ~ -
This was excellent! Good job.
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ewww,,,that was creepy and so well done. It flows so nicely and feels like I am right there. Great job on this Jeremy.
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This is a very powerful piece of writing, the subject that you chose to write about is amazing.
I do however, feel that the rhythm is a bit off, jarring - possibly due to trying to stick within the word limit?
Nevertheless, well penned and thankyou for entering.
Keira
Forever--x -
CSI?
Sounds like a scene from CSI Special Victims Unit!
Powerfully produced. There's quite a different guy behind that sweet face isn't there! Good job! Keep writing!
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Just a reminder here sweetie... don't forget to also include your User ID in your author notes. It's a requirement of the contest.
This gave me goosebumps along my spine. It made me think of the many missing people that haven't been located and the family members and loved ones that wait for word of their whereabouts... in some cases even after years have passed. Well done my friend!
♥ Touchof1der -
very sad and painful. Just read on the news about a young girl that was dismembered so this was pretty deep. best to you in the contest Blessings always~ Trisha
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Deep.
This was very powerful and the message within brings forth reality. Your language in this was excellent and the ending was perfect & left me pondering such truth. Being "tagged" has got to be one of the worst things to happen in War.. soldiers marked unknown and families search & search but they are never found, not even to say goodbye & have proper burial.
Stunning write!
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