One mistake little girl,
You've blown it all,
Just watch your world begin to twirl,
An innocent thought turned into a nightmare,
Was it crime? To finally be the real you,
Time to unwind and pretend you actually care,
You've hurt others in your selfish act,
Why don't you think?
I guess you didn't think they would react,
You've ruined a blessing well done,
So little girl time to make it up,
Their revenge has begun.
A contest entry
- Mistakes and Memories by whiterabbit..
380 points, ended August 28, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Suspenseful
I like the suspense that you built up in the poem. I could tell how that person felt. At the end when you never said what she did, it created a nice cliffhanger. Also, the mention of "their revenge", I asked myself, "Who are they? Why do they want revenge? Is it on the girl, or the narrator? What is the revenge?"
Fantastic job.
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I like this though I still wonder what the little girl did. I like the emotions in here. Well written. Thanks for entering.
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