apologies mean nothing now

Nothing can compare to your touch, rough hands caress my body
Your full lips against mine, the taste of your cigarettes
The smell of you fills my blackened lungs
Strong arms hold me tight, my body fits together perfectly with yours
It doesnt feel right without you next to me, only thing I want to do is kiss you deeply
The sound of your heart beating…slow breaths in tune with mine
Making eye contact with exchanges of "I love you"
Spending hours on the phone, soft voice fills my ears and empty heart
Mistakes were made, “Im sorry”s mean nothing now
I had to open my big mouth, the thought of fucking this up kills me
Fearing you will never treat me the same, you will look at me with distrust
Just another lying slut, a terrible person- I deserve all the names
Whatever I can do to make this up to you, Ill do it
Just name it baby, anything for you
I know I seem like a fake and this poor excuse for a poem seems like bullshit
But hun if I didnt love you I wouldnt be crying right now
Everything Ive said and done wasnt just deceiving
Without you I have nothing, youre my all
Please dont leave me, I need you…Im dependent on your love
Im not playing games, no matter how sick and twisted I may be- Im incapable of purposely breaking a heart
You deserve happiness and Its what I strive to provide
I promise you, I wont let you down again