cracks
beneath the surface
reaching out
from
valves of broken
promises
the tension builds
as if there is tar in
every minuscule breath
-I dare take-
hands unsteady
I try to forget
that you didn't call
.....again
words splatter out
in contradictions
a riddle
not intended to be
solved
is love anywhere
in that equation
or does that disappear
when you sign?
cracks
beneath the surface
reaching out.....
Author notes
My parents are getting divorced. This is mostly about my dad.
A contest entry
- Pre-Write Extravaganza by piccola.
1000 points, ended August 17, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your most very personal poetry♥ by innocence jaded.xx.
475 points, ended September 7, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Divorce by AaronGott.
475 points, ended February 5, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite conest by serenity silvermoon.
1500 points, ended June 12, 429 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Poem by Mr..
412 points, ended June 30, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really liked this.
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<333
I'll totally read the rest when I can.
You do write amazingly well<3333
CAN I MARRY YOUR WRITINGS?
Is that even possible? -
This was definitely a very well written piece. I'm sorry you're going through that. My parents swore they'd get divorced a million times, so I know the pain & the anger you feel. It's not fun to be in that position.
-the tension builds
as if there is tar in
every minuscule breath
-I dare take-
...
Amazing. Keep writing, you surely have a talent, love. I wish you the best of luck with everything & hope things get better for you ♥ -
Filled with such painful emotion. You allow the reader into a most intimate part of your heart and this was written beautifully. Thank you for entering and for adding my little remark into your author notes it is much appreciated.
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This one hurt to read - I could feel the emotions running through, and yet I've never personally been acquainted with the subject myself. You still made me feel what it's like, especially when I got to these lines:
"hands unsteady
I try to forget
that you didn't call
.....again"
That line just hurt when I read through it. Beautiful writing, and I'm sorry to hear what you're going through right now. Hang in there! Once the dust settles, it'll be a lot easier to see again.
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Wow.... beautiful write!
Man, divorce is rough! i love the way you poured your heart out here, i wrote something on the same topic- but from the parents viewpoint- check it out if you wanna... http://allpoetry.com/poem/4412657
Bravo, Poet!!!
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Quite a lovely poem; Most of the lines were powerful and at the same time seems painful.
Each stanza gets stronger with a raw emotion and the ending- magnificent
I'm sorry about the situation between your parents, hope everything will be all right ~
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